The attached video is my friend, Sofa Loaf who was northern Bolivia doing a tour of the Bolivian Amazon Rain forest. When she got back her story was very interesting. She told me very excitedly: “It was amazing Rusty, we saw monkeys, alligators, I used corn cobs for toilet paper, we met up with this cool Israeli couple who took a bunch of pictures of me and put me on their web site, and I was famous, I fell off my bicycle, then we went to band camp……”. All I could think in my mind was “Whoa-whoa-whoa you did NOT tell them you were a model!” I can see it all in my head now. The scene -Sofa with her friends “I know you guys are all Israeli and the ‘Chosen’ (quotation fingers flickering around) or what ever (eyes rolling). But HELLO (slender fingers jabbing the air around her head with eye brows popping up and down ‘bink-bink-bink’ [cool Sponge Bobish sound effects]) Golden girl over here!” So as you have already inferred Sofa is a bathing suit champion. That is why I call her the “Champ”. But I have a lot of respect for the Champ. I mean how many girls like the Champ can actually say they have shat in the woods (ala Bill Bryson author of “A walk in the woods” who on a side note is a ‘Gonzo Journalist’ much like I fancy myself, cool read, btw)?
Going off on yet a different tangent, have you ever noticed that when you are about to do something like camping, people seem to like to give you random weird advice before you go. Stuff like “when you gotta…you know… go number two what you do is put your hand behind your knee just before you squat. This way when you actually go down into your squat you won’t fall back in your own pooh.” What the hell kinda advice is that!
I will admit the Champ did kick ass but also apparently got her own ass kicked as well. She took a dive off her bike to keep from flying off a cliff on the side road to Coroico. My advice here is: although jumping off the bike may be very exciting, a simple casual steering away from the cliff usually has a much less ass kicking effect. Either way this is a very scary road. It has been deemed one of the most dangerous roads in the world. The road is basically a narrow shelf cut out of the side of a thousand foot (or better) cliff. I remember as a child sitting in a truck as it went down this road and parts of the road were so narrow that when you looked out the window you could actually see half a dually spinning over pure air. It’s enough to make you vomit.
So here is a good analogy for you Sponge Bob fans if you remember the episode where the Flying Dutch Man unzips a random sipper suspended in mid air and throws Squidward into “the fly of eternity” for being insolent and then spirals into a psychodelic abyss. Well this is what almost happened to the Champ, she was almost hurled into “the fly of eternity”
In closing let me give you some of my own random camping advice. When you are alone in the jungle at night and you are slightly scared sound your Sponge Bob siren “Weeeeoooo-weeeeooo-weeeeooooo” and you will feel a lot better. It really works. ”bink-bink-bink and a wink”
FeO2
PS: Argie thanks Sofa for taking the pressure off.
Three Religiions
Facing the wall
