The Hand of Pleasure and the Fist of Sweet Revenge
This last Friday I was on my computer up to my regular activities and these little conversation bubbles started popping up for on line chatting. I thought this is strange since I have never chatted on line and this has been something that I have never been interested in. There were all these people that were saying “Hi” and “Hola!” So at this point I am thinking “What the….”. Until somebody by the name of Cindy wrote “Hola Tortis, are you still at work?” Then I thought “’Tortis’ that’s Jonny’s (my receptionist) nick name! Oooooo, this really made me mad! I thin yelled into the other room “Hey, Jonny! Why is somebody by the name of “Cindy” calling me “Tortis”. Then I heard from the other room “Uuuh, I… don’t… know”. I must admit that the only thing on my mind at this point was unprofessional and unadulterated vengeance. I remember thinking something along the lines of “I am going to get that wee beastie fat bastard!”
I then reported to him “Well Cindy just found that you are not working at all and actually spending most of your time masturbating! I am still waiting on a reply from her”. Then heard his seat wheel around and I at this time got up myself and it was a race to the door. As luck and speed would have it I got to the door first and shut and locked it before he was able to reach it. I then walked back to my computer and said “Hey she is writing back right now!” I then saw in my minds eye a shocked little Cindy with her eyes big and round as she wrote “Tortis, I think somebody is hacking into your system!” I then responded “Oh no, don’t worry its me alright, Tortis.” Then I heard from the other side of the door “Please don’t do this to me doc. I promise I will never get on your computer again!” I then replied “I know you won't and I am about to make sure of that…. Hey, who’s this Natalie that just popped up?!?!? Heh-heh” Then I heard a muffled “Noooo!” from the other side of the door. So a couple minutes later I called Jonny on the intercom and announced “Jonny, you have three dates tonight I scheduled each of them about a half hour apart from each other. So…lets see how fast you can move Stud!” I then heard over the line “What!! I have a date with my girlfriend Shaniqua tonight.”
So it was about 20 minutes later that I was walking out the door I handed Jonny his list of “appointments”. I noticed that he had his nose about 2 inches from the surface of his desk moaning “Shaniqua’s gonna kill me!” “Well I think that it would be fare for me to inform you that I told these girls that if anything goes wrong that they can give you a call on your cell.” Then Jonny bolted up right and said “You gave them my phone number?!?”
As I was about to close the door behind me when I turned to Jonny and said with a smile “Don’t forget to lock up…. and have a nice see weekend….Tortis.”
FeO2
18/june/2007
Monday Morning,
In a follow up to my last blog I have to mention that I walked in to the office and immediately saw that Tortis did not have a good weekend. Tortis had a patch like band-aid over his right eye. I stopped to think “Could I have had any part in what ever devilry that transpired in this poor boys life?” Then I thought “NO WAY!” I then asked what had happened to Poor Jonnie. He then stated rather curtly “I fell”. So now I feel much better because all he did was fall and of course I could have nothing to do with this right?!?! Although now I have to help him keep from running into walls because he has no depth perception with that Cyclops head of his.
FeO2
Three Religiions
Facing the wall
