First I wrote:
The time has come for me to introduce my good friend Argie to you. That is "Argie" pronounced to rhyme with Margie, short for Margaret who was the cousin of Joe French who acted side by side with Robert Duval and Kevin Bacon in a short in the early seventies. Hey, we just played the "Kevin Bacon Game"! The past time in which all events no matter how big or small always lead back to Kevin.
A'hoo, I made the mistake of inviting Argie to the house blessing we had this last Sunday at my house. Every thing was going smoothly until Father Walter asked me to help with communion. I obliged was at the cup serving the faithful as they lined up in front of me. So for once I was having a serious moment in my life when I looked up to see my friend Argie standing there in front of me. My first thought what "What the hell!" Then my second thought was now here is a man who is getting a lot of miles off of infant baptism. Then I saw that he had his usual evil glint in his eye and he said as he took the cup "Stop me if I try to make it through this line again!" So what you would have heard if you standing next to me was "This is the blood (Argie's interruption)….. [smirk-snicker]…..uhhh…fucking Argie!" It was at this point when I had just desecrated the cup and the blackness of the situation settled over me. Dude! If anybody deserves to go to hell its Argie not me. He provoked me. Besides everybody in my family is ordained accept me and the friggin' dog and now thanks to Jill and Gym I am now aware that even my dog "Ginsberg" is now eligible for ordination thank you very much! (Speaking of which I will get to work on immediately, insurance that you just cant buy!) This must me worth at least a back door pass or something into paradise.
Any way I have a quotable quote for ya all! It comes from a Woody Allen movie I tried to watch last night. I have to admit that I am not getting through movies very well these days. I always get too board or I get really tired. But I stayed awake to here the following quote: "The best thing about masturbation is the cuddling afterwards!" Put your hands together for Mr. Woody Allen everybody!
Then Dan wrote:
Okay, first: was this just so shameful on Jim's part that you had to make up a second fictional name for him, even as you refer to Gym later in the post? Funny.
Then Rusty wrote:
Is it really that obvious that this has been about Gym the whole time? I could not use Gym in the later part because it would have given everything away had I used his new alias. Anybody paying attention would have matched up the Jill and Gym reference straight to Argie!
I have a confession to make. Last night I had a dream that I wrote this same blog out on a piece of paper and handed it to Gym for a proof read. As he read the first couple of lines he got this disgusted look on his face and then handed it back to me. At this time I woke up. Even though I ussually wake up around this time I felt a little more guilty than ussual because my thoughts were with Gym. Even so I will at least continue to protect Jim's privacy by using his first alias Gym.
Be all this as it may, perhaps we should not be talking about somebody who is not in the country to defend himself. Do you think we should wait Dan?
FeO2
Then Tammy wrote:
On a pertinent side note to the matter at hand, I think things may soon be getting to the point that Dan may want/desperately need some kind of alias cover for his own protection, especially if he continues to make such direct (and low) blows (no sexual innuendo intended) at Gym - even though Gym (the Rev., that is) may be able to wield some type of ecclesial excommunication threats at Dan to get him to back down a bit . . . or, now that I think of it, at the Captian yourself, which, in your case and as your loving wife, I will do my best to counter with my ordianed authority in the Anglican realm, which may or may not be greater than that vested by Modesto . . . ).
Anywhoo, any ideas? I suggest Danm.
xxoo,
(the reverend) tammy
Then LeMel wrote:
As the only other family member not ordained - I resemble that remark!!!
Then Gray wrote:
Where’s Jim gone then?
Then Rusty wrote:
It's not Jim its Rev. Gym damn it! Are you forgetting that we are trying to protect Rev. Gyms privacy?!?! How would you like it if I called you Gray all the time in the e-mails I am talking about you instead of using your pseudo name "Offwhitie".
A'yhoo, nobody is quite sure where Gym is at the present moment. Some say he is off searching for the perfect rolled oat in the West, perhaps he has gone North to challenge his arch nemesis Gorge W. to a game of chess at the gates of hell itself a la "Faust". Yet others have insinuated that he has gone east to learn to master the secrets the legendary self inflicted ancient Chinese triple "O". But one thing is for sure where ever he is the mythical nymphs of Shang-Ping-Wa will be dancing around the leaping fires of Zanadoo!
And you can take that one to the bank!
FeO2
Then Dan wrote referring to the attached pic:
My personal pseudonym preference would be to be named by a symbol, like Prince used to do, and I'd like my symbol to be that badass Faust picture!As regards whether such an alias is necessary for my own wellbeing now, I will point out in my defense - take note, Rev. Gym - that I was present for the desecration in question, which is why I knew who Argie was, and my original email was only to El Capitan. The latter then decided to respond to everyone, even dragging my poor wife into the picture! So, now that I've turned this full on into a passage out of an Umberto Eco novel, I'll retire back into passive readership, and start watching the blog for references to
Then Jo-shmo wrote:
I am in the middle of a conversation that I so don't understand...as interesting as it sounds, how do I catch up????Is there an archive somewhere??? Will I just have to stay lost forever??? Jo
Then Rusty writes:
I am here to enlighten all!!
FeO2
