# 20

I must say that one can not celebrate ones sons birthday with out the aid of Taquina. It is interesting how different people handle their beer. For instance my friend (we shall call him Mr. Offwhite or Offy for short to protect his privacy) Offy has this thing for tinkering. He is a mechanical engineer you know. Anyway after Offy had a couple of beers in him he comes up to me and says “Hey bloke you would not happen to have any music for me to shake my behind to would you?” I then told him that the receiver was not working and Offy then got this excited gleam and said with a light shinning in his eye “Would you mind if I had a go at it then?” I then said “No”. In two minutes Offy had the receiver on the table in pieces. Me and my other friend (I will now change my friend Jims name to Gym in order to protect his privacy) Gym with beers in hand started to heckle Offy in the form of technical advice. “Hey Offy did you check those power cup plinks?” Or “Those current converters must be down.” and “That Tesla unit seems a bit dusty let me plug the thing in so you can lick it clean”, So at the end of all this banter Offy gets up and says “Yep this buggers broken for sure. Better have a professional look at it.”
Later that same evening I finally went out and saw the new James Bond after the party. As always it must be seen with a bunch of guy friends to make it a memorable experience. Anyway they gave us more of a thug type personality in this last one. For instance when the bar tender asks him how he wants his martini he says “How ever the hell you want to make it! Instead of “Shaken not stirred”. Also he did not quite fit into that suite like other James Bonds did, it looked like it was strangling him. You would think that the rough and tumble would have lasted the whole movie but the writers did not stay true to this casting. They had Bond rough and tumbling through the most of the movie until HE FELL IN LOVE! This has not happened since “In Her Majesties Secret Service”. My friends and I of course protested by yelling “Give him another swat in the balls with that rope thingy!” in hopes that he would come to his senses. But alas no such hope was to come to fruition. Speaking of swatin’ in the balls, everyone knows that Roger Moore (God rest his soul) could have taken at least two more that this last guy did. The other thing that Gym pointed out is that we saw this guys skin more that we ever saw any girls. This is just not right as far as 007 movies go. Also there were no gadgets accept for his crazy first aid kit that seemed to have a whole O.R. in it. What’s next in this line of movies? Band-aid communication devices? Laser catheters? Exploding colostomy bags? The truth serum/analgesic suppositories that double as bullets for that little gun of his? (Now there is a way that you can get bullets on the airplane these days) Jet propulsion breast pumps? I do not know how to put my thumb on this one. Up or down it is your choice.
In other news the bananas are back after their end of the year hiatus. I went into the gym the other day and my trainer asked what we were to do that day and suggested “back”. I made the mistake of saying out loud “No we did that yesterday, today we should do arms.” Not knowing that one of the bananas, Sandy was right behind me she used this info to her advantage. So 1 second later I got a slap on the back. Oh my god! I could never be a 007 agent. I do not deal with pain that well. Any way later on when my trainer was dealing out some more pain of his own, Patty (Sandy’s twin sister) pointed to me and said “Hey Sandy, that’s Rusty, the one I was telling you about!” Then Sandy said “I know I already slapped him on the back this morning. He cowers like a baby. Ha-ha-ha!”
Dulce and Lulu are also back. As the matter of fact Lulu came strutin’ by the other day with her new “I (heart) NY” t-shirt on that her boyfriend brought back from his vacation in the US. She turned to me and said “Hey Rusty you’re a gringo what do you think of my new T-shirt. I complemented her on it. Then she strutted away. You could tell that she was loving New York!
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