I went to my first Karate championship this weekend as a spectator. I actually thought that it would be more cumbersome than it actually turned out to be. I watched my own children compete. I was really proud of them. They both have been training for barely 6 weeks and they did very well. Thomas took second place in his division and Maddy took first in hers. I will admit that Maddy only had one other little girl in her division. But as we look into history we do see that many heroes and conquerors are normal people who stood up when the occasion came. To mention a few G. Washington, S. Bolivar, W. Churchill, and Chicken Little. Maddy is my Chicken Little. She and the other little girl she fought both deserved the medals they got. There were many of other little girls in the stands who were little sisters that could have been out there but were not. As Woody Allen once said “Showing up is 80 percent of success!” As for poor Thomas, he cried when he lost his last round. It’s kinda hard when it’s your first time to compete in front of 400+ spectators all yelling and screaming and your only 10 years old. It’s a lot of pressure. He stilled rocked!
So Sportsfans please to be looking at pictures of the weekend sporting events by clicking on:
http://picasaweb.google.es/rustyfirestone/Karate#
So now it is time for the Random Movie Review. Friday night I watched “Quantum of Solace”. It is the second instalment of Daniel Craig’s James Bond. I give it a thumbs up. There was a lot of fast action and the story line was good enough as far as 007 movies go. If you read my blog on the Bond movie about Casino Real you will remember I called Mr. Craig’s Bond “a thug”. Apparently this is what many other movie reviewers have had in common with me when writing about this latest Bond as well. Mr. Craig’s for some reason is gadget less. No laser watches, no explosive extractable teeth, not even a glow-in-the-dark-musical condom! Mr. Bond was all about machine guns and fist fighting. Apparently Roger Moore complained about this saying that his Bond was more of a lover. Try “Womanizer” Mr. Moore.
But there is something that Mr. Craig and Mr. Moore have in common. They are both the only Major English Bonds that there have ever been. Of course I am not counting David Nivens who is known as a “Lesser known Bond”.
Sean Connery was Scottish, George Lazenby was Australian, Timothy Dalton was Welsh, Pierce Brosnan was Irish and Barry Nelson, was of all things an American and the first on film Bond ever.
In other movie news: I saw the Cohen Brothers Movie “Read and Burn” I am usually a fan of these 2 siblings but for this movie I will just have to say “Watch and Burn”.
Also I would like to welcome a new group of friends to the blog-cast. They are all from high school. “You’ve been served”. Heh-heh!
Have great week!
FeO2
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker
“I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ‘That guy sure owed me a lot of money.’”
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Three Religiions
Facing the wall
Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2008
So this morning I went running down to give my children the regular scheduled morning assault that they have become accustomed to. The assault usually consists of my grabbing one of them and spinning them around then body slamming them back on their bed and head locking them with a nerd scobbing to the scalp. All this has been scientifically proven to be good for their circulation and bone development. Anywho as I was on my way down I was yelling “Here ah come!”. Once I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Maddy standing there in her newly learned Karate stance. She had this look on her face that seemed to say “You bes’ run boy, cuz I’m gonna make it rain!”. This of course scared the bajeezes out of me. I was not expecting this. But this is what I get for agreeing with Tammy on the point of our children taking extracurricular physical educational classes for them to develop better neurologically. Now I’m soon to get my arse kicked by a little girl! I guess I will now have to take some kind of martial arts class myself to maintain tactical superiority. Or as Rev. Gym would say “Maintain the objective.” Or perhaps it would just be better to call in an air-strike on my own position with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label.....nice and cheap like.
In other news I can’t believe my crabs are still alive! Wait I mean Thomas’ pet crab is still alive. I think that is what I mean. Also for personal entertainment I have taken to reading fictitious blogs. Pretty cool.
Comments recieved from this blog:
Rusty....your philosophical depth never ceases to amaze me...you are surely a chiroprac-tor. Wait. That may be the wine talking.
Saludos.
Jorge
I hope you get your ass kicked by a little girl, and that someone is around to video it for me to see! :)
(Lisa S.)
Yes I am sure that one day that little girl will Rodney King me but pray that I will always be at least taller than she.
FeO2
In other news I can’t believe my crabs are still alive! Wait I mean Thomas’ pet crab is still alive. I think that is what I mean. Also for personal entertainment I have taken to reading fictitious blogs. Pretty cool.
Comments recieved from this blog:
Rusty....your philosophical depth never ceases to amaze me...you are surely a chiroprac-tor. Wait. That may be the wine talking.
Saludos.
Jorge
I hope you get your ass kicked by a little girl, and that someone is around to video it for me to see! :)
(Lisa S.)
Yes I am sure that one day that little girl will Rodney King me but pray that I will always be at least taller than she.
FeO2
Saturday, August 30, 2008 "Fertility"
So another chiropractic mission trip has come and gone but not without leaving its memories. Of course there is all the hard work that everybody put in to this trip but other memories are left as well. Such as the event at the end of the trip where at one of the tourist sales stalls the woman selling the wears asked me if two of the trip participants were my children. Of course I was flattered to think that Alicia and Jorge to be my own. Who would not be flattered?
Later I did have a thought prompted by one of Alicia’s comments. Alicia pointed out that the woman probably said that we were related cuz we are both white. That would mean that the woman was thinking that Alicia was my daughter and Jorge was my Mexican son-in-law. It was a good thing that Erika was not there or else she would have confused her for my grand daughter as she was much smaller than the rest of us thus making her the “love child” of Jorge and Alicia. We would not have been complete without Uncle Buck and Auntie Meg there. Of course we would all have been sorrowful over their bareness as the woman at the stall would have deduced that this was the case as they have no children such as I. Yes the Lord has blessed my old heart with laughter as he has increased unto me my family, cattle, and stock in cats these last couple of weeks. I have been left not wanting. Especially since the whole group was blessed with pregnant Emily and that is probably what brought on the whole fertile fan fare in the first place. I think it all started when both David and Charles “El Bonito” started to argue over claims to who was the father. Luckily the other Charles “Keiser Sosei” was on hand to settle the dispute on the fatherhood of the child with the loud statement being “The father is a red-head!!!” All I had to say to this is “That woman got here pregnant!”
So I leave you with a few last thoughts
“Never trust a pregnant woman!”
Rusty Firestone
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
“I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy) -->“
Jack Handey
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
Later I did have a thought prompted by one of Alicia’s comments. Alicia pointed out that the woman probably said that we were related cuz we are both white. That would mean that the woman was thinking that Alicia was my daughter and Jorge was my Mexican son-in-law. It was a good thing that Erika was not there or else she would have confused her for my grand daughter as she was much smaller than the rest of us thus making her the “love child” of Jorge and Alicia. We would not have been complete without Uncle Buck and Auntie Meg there. Of course we would all have been sorrowful over their bareness as the woman at the stall would have deduced that this was the case as they have no children such as I. Yes the Lord has blessed my old heart with laughter as he has increased unto me my family, cattle, and stock in cats these last couple of weeks. I have been left not wanting. Especially since the whole group was blessed with pregnant Emily and that is probably what brought on the whole fertile fan fare in the first place. I think it all started when both David and Charles “El Bonito” started to argue over claims to who was the father. Luckily the other Charles “Keiser Sosei” was on hand to settle the dispute on the fatherhood of the child with the loud statement being “The father is a red-head!!!” All I had to say to this is “That woman got here pregnant!”
So I leave you with a few last thoughts
“Never trust a pregnant woman!”
Rusty Firestone
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard
“I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint. - Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy) -->“
Jack Handey
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
July 27th, 2008; Weekend random movie review “Might of been Utah”
So I just finished watching “Raising Arizona” with Nick Cage, Holly Hunter and a whole cast of others. This was a movie that I have not seen since I was a kid. I was surprised to see how much I enjoyed it. Of course it was a Cohen Brothers so how could you go wrong! It really did take me back to my redneck roots of which I am so proud of. “Ooooooweeee…..SOMbitch!” The prison scenes also sent me back to my own days in the clink. Ah yes those long sessions of me and my cell mate reading Tolstoy to each other and then taking turns at copying from the dictionary. But my fondest memories are those long hours after lock down and lights out when we used to lay there and invent word math problems. Aaah these are memories that you can’t take away from me. Enough of my Stienbeck-inian up bringing! I also saw Batman last weekend. I figure the real difference between these 2 films is the fact that all the actors in “Raising Arizona” are still alive even if the movie is a quarter of a century old! Not that I did not like Batman it is just that my joints started to stiffen by the time the credits started rolling. I am proud of the fact though that I sat through the whole thing though. Films like any of the Harry Potter’s or the last “Spider Man” did not get this prestigious honor. For some of you that may not know I have a bad habit on just walking out of the theater half way through many films. But not Batman! I think I did not leave because I was waiting for the chariot race. If you have not yet seen the movie yet I do not mean to ruin the flick for you but there is no chariot race. Apparently that was a different Duracell movie.
So to sum things up, I give “Semi Pro” with Will Ferrell and Woody Harilson a “2 thumbs up”.
FeO2
So to sum things up, I give “Semi Pro” with Will Ferrell and Woody Harilson a “2 thumbs up”.
FeO2
Sunday, July 13, 2008 "This Wretched Year of Our Lord"
Captains Blog: This Wretched Year of Our Lord
So I had a pretty decent day today. I went into town early to the Gym and talked to my weight trainer. He reminded me that I owed him a cell phone. I then told him that he should go with me down town today cuz I needed a new unit as well. The reason that I owe him a phone is because one day when I was at the gym and I needed him for a spot he was over “talking” to some leotard-retard. So I walked over to him with a 45 lbs dumbbell in one hand to put it back on the rack and “accidentally” slammed it into his thigh. The meat head obviously feeling my gift of stimulation tried to maintain a macho composure which kind of amused his little gym bunny buddy. About a minute later his cell phone gave a weak ring. He pulled it out of his pocket at which point it just disintegrated in his hand. I just kind of just stood there looking and said “That’s totally your fault!” I felt bad anyway so I told him I would take care of it. Anyway I told him to meet me at my office so we could go down together and get what we needed. So after the gym I went to the office and saw a couple of emergency patients and waited for him. Of course Mr. Meat-head never showed so I left alone. I decided to go on foot as the store was not so far away. On the way I decided to stop by the “Spitting Llama” which is right on the way. Now for those of you who do not know, the “Spitting Llama” is a backpacker trading post where you can purchase anything that backpackers usually require. Stock will usually include anything from compasses, back-pack repair kits to used books (both buying and trade-ins [at a minimal fee]). That is “The Spitting Llama” has a pretty good English section as well as German, Italian, and French.
Well I went in to do some compulsive shopping which is not part of my normal activities, but I decided it was time for something different. So when I was looking though the books I saw H.G. Wells’ “Time Machine” and I thought “That is so cool! This is something that Thomas and I can to do together.” We are both totally book nerds…..as is the whole family. Also I did find “The Revenge of Moriarty” I think I will save that one for x-mass. You know who you are. Just the same let me know if you have the book so I will not be wasting my time and 30bs, J
Anyway I made my way out of the “Spiting Llama” down to the cell phone store. As I walked in I was greeted by Monica the sales clerk. “Hey Rusty how ya doing? I haven’t seen you for…. how long has it been? It must be like…..3 weeks now. Let me show you to our disposable phone section. Hee-hee.” At this point I was loathing her existence. “Sometimes you want to go somewhere where everybody knows your name” MY ASS! I’m thinking “Move bitch! Get out-the way! I know where the unit is that I need! As if it was my first time here. Gawd!”
The one thing that I did notice is that she was wearing what I would call a low knit sweater. Now what the hell is that?! A sweater is to keep you warm right? Here in Bolivia we are right in the middle of winter and it is sweater weather outside. But to tell you the truth I could not really tell if this girl was cold or not.. No goose bumps or any other tell-tale signs that usually come with coldness. Probably because she was wearing a sweater….no matter how much cleavage she was sporting. I am just happy that Tammy was not there with me. She has this tendency want to make “boob talk”. She would have said something like (as she has in the past) “Did you see her breasts!!” and my response is of course “What (eh-hem, cough-cough)…you mean that girl over there? She’s got boobs?”. “Yeah, there amazing! They are just elevating themselves right there in your face!. I’m a woman and I want to reach out and grab them! Don’t you?!?!” Then me “Well, I uuh…..” Do you people see where I am going with this? What would Jesus do?!
A’yhoo, I got my phone and got the hell out of that den of inequity and cleavage. I then went to commit my favorite sin. BUYING PIRATED MUSIC!!!! I decided to pick up some of my favorite guitar slashing college heroes such as Sound Garden, Velvet Revolver, and Alice in Chains. I went to my collection this last week to look for a couple of these titles only to find out that I no longer had these in the library. Sometimes the miles of life actually tax you and subtract from your music. Anywho all this music activity was stimulated by other activities….basically this was the desecration of my old high-school buddy’s face-book page. That would be Jodie’s page. All-in-all it was $5.95 US well spent!
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” Hunter Thompson.
“If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party do this: Wait until no one is watching, then kick a burning log out of the fireplace onto the carpet. Then jump on top of it with your body and yell. “Log o’ fire! Log o’ fire!” I’ve never done this, but I bet it would work.” Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Have a great week!!
FeO2
So I had a pretty decent day today. I went into town early to the Gym and talked to my weight trainer. He reminded me that I owed him a cell phone. I then told him that he should go with me down town today cuz I needed a new unit as well. The reason that I owe him a phone is because one day when I was at the gym and I needed him for a spot he was over “talking” to some leotard-retard. So I walked over to him with a 45 lbs dumbbell in one hand to put it back on the rack and “accidentally” slammed it into his thigh. The meat head obviously feeling my gift of stimulation tried to maintain a macho composure which kind of amused his little gym bunny buddy. About a minute later his cell phone gave a weak ring. He pulled it out of his pocket at which point it just disintegrated in his hand. I just kind of just stood there looking and said “That’s totally your fault!” I felt bad anyway so I told him I would take care of it. Anyway I told him to meet me at my office so we could go down together and get what we needed. So after the gym I went to the office and saw a couple of emergency patients and waited for him. Of course Mr. Meat-head never showed so I left alone. I decided to go on foot as the store was not so far away. On the way I decided to stop by the “Spitting Llama” which is right on the way. Now for those of you who do not know, the “Spitting Llama” is a backpacker trading post where you can purchase anything that backpackers usually require. Stock will usually include anything from compasses, back-pack repair kits to used books (both buying and trade-ins [at a minimal fee]). That is “The Spitting Llama” has a pretty good English section as well as German, Italian, and French.
Well I went in to do some compulsive shopping which is not part of my normal activities, but I decided it was time for something different. So when I was looking though the books I saw H.G. Wells’ “Time Machine” and I thought “That is so cool! This is something that Thomas and I can to do together.” We are both totally book nerds…..as is the whole family. Also I did find “The Revenge of Moriarty” I think I will save that one for x-mass. You know who you are. Just the same let me know if you have the book so I will not be wasting my time and 30bs, J
Anyway I made my way out of the “Spiting Llama” down to the cell phone store. As I walked in I was greeted by Monica the sales clerk. “Hey Rusty how ya doing? I haven’t seen you for…. how long has it been? It must be like…..3 weeks now. Let me show you to our disposable phone section. Hee-hee.” At this point I was loathing her existence. “Sometimes you want to go somewhere where everybody knows your name” MY ASS! I’m thinking “Move bitch! Get out-the way! I know where the unit is that I need! As if it was my first time here. Gawd!”
The one thing that I did notice is that she was wearing what I would call a low knit sweater. Now what the hell is that?! A sweater is to keep you warm right? Here in Bolivia we are right in the middle of winter and it is sweater weather outside. But to tell you the truth I could not really tell if this girl was cold or not.. No goose bumps or any other tell-tale signs that usually come with coldness. Probably because she was wearing a sweater….no matter how much cleavage she was sporting. I am just happy that Tammy was not there with me. She has this tendency want to make “boob talk”. She would have said something like (as she has in the past) “Did you see her breasts!!” and my response is of course “What (eh-hem, cough-cough)…you mean that girl over there? She’s got boobs?”. “Yeah, there amazing! They are just elevating themselves right there in your face!. I’m a woman and I want to reach out and grab them! Don’t you?!?!” Then me “Well, I uuh…..” Do you people see where I am going with this? What would Jesus do?!
A’yhoo, I got my phone and got the hell out of that den of inequity and cleavage. I then went to commit my favorite sin. BUYING PIRATED MUSIC!!!! I decided to pick up some of my favorite guitar slashing college heroes such as Sound Garden, Velvet Revolver, and Alice in Chains. I went to my collection this last week to look for a couple of these titles only to find out that I no longer had these in the library. Sometimes the miles of life actually tax you and subtract from your music. Anywho all this music activity was stimulated by other activities….basically this was the desecration of my old high-school buddy’s face-book page. That would be Jodie’s page. All-in-all it was $5.95 US well spent!
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” Hunter Thompson.
“If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party do this: Wait until no one is watching, then kick a burning log out of the fireplace onto the carpet. Then jump on top of it with your body and yell. “Log o’ fire! Log o’ fire!” I’ve never done this, but I bet it would work.” Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Have a great week!!
FeO2
July 4th, 2008, Captains Blog:"Los Trota Mundos”
Last night I reluctantly took my nine year old son Thomas to see the Globe Trotters. They are in town as part of their world tour being led by their Point Guard “Special K” or was it “Circle K”, perhaps it was “The Big O”? No-no I am sure it was some kind of North American breakfast cereal belted out by Kellogs or General Mills. I do have to admit that Mr. Lucky Charms spoke impressive Spanish though.
While I sat there I found there high-jinx to be quite silly. Trust me I am an expert when it comes to stupid humor. I was sitting there kind of staring when I heard Thomas explode with laughter. I looked over at him and thought “I guess that’s where the genius is……Hey! I wanna laugh like that!” Just on that small notion I instantly was hee-hawing with Thomas.
I do still contend that the GT’s are missing a white man on their team. The only white people I saw were basically the team that toured with them to play against them. I kept on thinking “Why do they just keep full court pressing them even when the GT’s just keep running around in figure “8”s while passing the ball back and forth really fast between them all the while making the white boys look like idiots?” I wanted to yell “Dudes their making monkeys out of you! The full court press when the GT’s are doing that figure ‘8’ thing is not a good idea!” But of course nobody would have listened to me. The white boys fell for that trick about 10-12 times during the game. White guys are so lame!
Then there was the time that Special K was injured. He had to be carried off the court all the while he was sporting this horrible look of agony on his face. Then about 20 minutes later the announcer yelled with amazement that Cap’in Crunch was better and that he could play again. Then with an explosion of a dry ice cloud and the rhythms of Survivors “Eye of the Tiger” Fruit Loops (Or what ever his name is” came trotting back onto the court. Thomas at this point turned to me and said “He really was never hurt was he?” I then answered “Probably not, I even have my doubts about the credentials of that health care professional that pronounced him not fit to play. Mainly by the way he is now franticly yelling at the score board person presently…but that’s just me.”
Every time the GT’s made one of their amazing baskets or slam dunks Thomas would instantly look up at the score board and say “Wow Dad, the Globe Trotters are really beating those white guys!” At this point Thomas and I were happy not to associate ourselves with those loser-lamo white guys. So today Thomas and I will be laying out in the sun much more than usual.
Have a great 4th all.!
“Broken promises don’t bother me. I just think, ‘Why do they believe me?’” Jack Handey
FeO2
While I sat there I found there high-jinx to be quite silly. Trust me I am an expert when it comes to stupid humor. I was sitting there kind of staring when I heard Thomas explode with laughter. I looked over at him and thought “I guess that’s where the genius is……Hey! I wanna laugh like that!” Just on that small notion I instantly was hee-hawing with Thomas.
I do still contend that the GT’s are missing a white man on their team. The only white people I saw were basically the team that toured with them to play against them. I kept on thinking “Why do they just keep full court pressing them even when the GT’s just keep running around in figure “8”s while passing the ball back and forth really fast between them all the while making the white boys look like idiots?” I wanted to yell “Dudes their making monkeys out of you! The full court press when the GT’s are doing that figure ‘8’ thing is not a good idea!” But of course nobody would have listened to me. The white boys fell for that trick about 10-12 times during the game. White guys are so lame!
Then there was the time that Special K was injured. He had to be carried off the court all the while he was sporting this horrible look of agony on his face. Then about 20 minutes later the announcer yelled with amazement that Cap’in Crunch was better and that he could play again. Then with an explosion of a dry ice cloud and the rhythms of Survivors “Eye of the Tiger” Fruit Loops (Or what ever his name is” came trotting back onto the court. Thomas at this point turned to me and said “He really was never hurt was he?” I then answered “Probably not, I even have my doubts about the credentials of that health care professional that pronounced him not fit to play. Mainly by the way he is now franticly yelling at the score board person presently…but that’s just me.”
Every time the GT’s made one of their amazing baskets or slam dunks Thomas would instantly look up at the score board and say “Wow Dad, the Globe Trotters are really beating those white guys!” At this point Thomas and I were happy not to associate ourselves with those loser-lamo white guys. So today Thomas and I will be laying out in the sun much more than usual.
Have a great 4th all.!
“Broken promises don’t bother me. I just think, ‘Why do they believe me?’” Jack Handey
FeO2
May 16, 2008, I was only acting! (2 Points off a shit-sandwich)
So I just read “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” a play by Tom Stoppard. Heh-heh. I really liked it! It is well written as it has so many nuances to explore. One of the things that I liked best was the references to theater itself. I will now share. It is a play inside a play outside of a play. I will explain further down.
The scene is a theatric group “The Tragedians” that ROS and GUIL are watching, criticizing and constantly interrupting through their whole performance. It is a mime and there is the “Player” or the narrator, a queen played by a boy (Elizabethinian not a modern day queen), and a prisoner about to be king.
The TRAGEDIANS have taken up position for the continuation of the mime: which in this case means a love scene, sexual and passionate, between the QUEEN and PRISONER/KING
PLAYER: Go!
The lovers begin. The PALYER contributes a breathless commentary for ROS and GUIL.
Having murdered his brother and wooed the widow- the poisoner mounts the throne! Here we see him and his queen give reign to their unbridled passion! She unknowing that the man that she holds in her arms-----I
ROS: Oh, I say-here-really! You can’t do that!
PLAYER: Why not?
ROS: Well, really-I mean, people want to be entertained- they don’t come expecting sordid and gratuitous filth.
PLAYER: Your wrong-they do! Murder seduction and incest-what do you want-jokes?
ROS: I want a good story with a beginning, middle, and end.
PLAYER: (to GUIL) And you?
GUIL: I’d prefer a to mirror life, if it’s all the same to you.
PLAYER: It’s all the same to me, sir. (To the grappling LOVERS:)
All right, no need to indulge yourselves…….
So I think that this part of the play should be dedicated to all armature actors who have ever appalled a director (as I have more than 2 directors at least) as well as screwed up the director’s play.
So as you can see that this is the play inside of the main play “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”. But for those of you who are not aware, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” is the play that skirts Shakespears “Hamlet”. “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” is a singular line taken from the end of Hamlet of two characters who never appear in Hamlet. So there for it is a play inside of a play outside of a play. I that makes any sense to you the reader.
As far as my own personal rating for the play I feel that it is not the force fed shit-sandwich that the last play I reviewed, “Waiting for Godough”. I will now use my own personal rating system that I have invented for the reader (if indeed I still have any at this point). I will use “Shit-sandwich” as 0 and “Big in Japan” as 10. I am basing this on the Visual Analogue Scale (VAS). This is the most reliable pain measuring test in use in the medical field as far as I am concerned. Of course the values of my Shit sandwich/Big in Japan scale (SSBJ) have values that are directly inverse to the VAS. I will bore you no further with the details. Anyhoo “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” gets a 9 points on the side of Big in Japan where as “Waiting for Godough” gets a full Shit-sandwich as I have compared it to the airline travel industry where you just wait around for nothing to happen. Oh and uh…one last thing Mr. Hans D., when one refers to the VAS and uses the term “exquisite pain” it is for medical use only and not for your own sexual perversions!
So now I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite life philosophers Jack Handey:
“If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.”
Steady as she blows!
FeO2
The scene is a theatric group “The Tragedians” that ROS and GUIL are watching, criticizing and constantly interrupting through their whole performance. It is a mime and there is the “Player” or the narrator, a queen played by a boy (Elizabethinian not a modern day queen), and a prisoner about to be king.
The TRAGEDIANS have taken up position for the continuation of the mime: which in this case means a love scene, sexual and passionate, between the QUEEN and PRISONER/KING
PLAYER: Go!
The lovers begin. The PALYER contributes a breathless commentary for ROS and GUIL.
Having murdered his brother and wooed the widow- the poisoner mounts the throne! Here we see him and his queen give reign to their unbridled passion! She unknowing that the man that she holds in her arms-----I
ROS: Oh, I say-here-really! You can’t do that!
PLAYER: Why not?
ROS: Well, really-I mean, people want to be entertained- they don’t come expecting sordid and gratuitous filth.
PLAYER: Your wrong-they do! Murder seduction and incest-what do you want-jokes?
ROS: I want a good story with a beginning, middle, and end.
PLAYER: (to GUIL) And you?
GUIL: I’d prefer a to mirror life, if it’s all the same to you.
PLAYER: It’s all the same to me, sir. (To the grappling LOVERS:)
All right, no need to indulge yourselves…….
So I think that this part of the play should be dedicated to all armature actors who have ever appalled a director (as I have more than 2 directors at least) as well as screwed up the director’s play.
So as you can see that this is the play inside of the main play “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”. But for those of you who are not aware, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” is the play that skirts Shakespears “Hamlet”. “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” is a singular line taken from the end of Hamlet of two characters who never appear in Hamlet. So there for it is a play inside of a play outside of a play. I that makes any sense to you the reader.
As far as my own personal rating for the play I feel that it is not the force fed shit-sandwich that the last play I reviewed, “Waiting for Godough”. I will now use my own personal rating system that I have invented for the reader (if indeed I still have any at this point). I will use “Shit-sandwich” as 0 and “Big in Japan” as 10. I am basing this on the Visual Analogue Scale (VAS). This is the most reliable pain measuring test in use in the medical field as far as I am concerned. Of course the values of my Shit sandwich/Big in Japan scale (SSBJ) have values that are directly inverse to the VAS. I will bore you no further with the details. Anyhoo “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” gets a 9 points on the side of Big in Japan where as “Waiting for Godough” gets a full Shit-sandwich as I have compared it to the airline travel industry where you just wait around for nothing to happen. Oh and uh…one last thing Mr. Hans D., when one refers to the VAS and uses the term “exquisite pain” it is for medical use only and not for your own sexual perversions!
So now I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite life philosophers Jack Handey:
“If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.”
Steady as she blows!
FeO2
Monday, 12th of May 2008 "Viva CCCLA"
I just wanted to say “Thanks” to the gang down from CCCLA. BTW Gail I think I heard someone say (about you) that they were going “to cut off a piece and take a bite”. What the hell is that all about?!?!? Perhaps it was me that said it….who knows? I was cool to find out that Erika and I are both big “Doyer” baseball fans. I am still waiting for my jersey. Which reminds me. I have been playing all day on that damn “Noentiendo ®” set ever sense ya left D. Lopez! Que huevada…huevon! Be that as it may I hope that Kelly-aquin is settling back into her AA meetings since she has gotten back to LA. As for Han(d)sy I think that Autumn is right in saying that what you are really missing about Bolivia is Eliaquin (spelled E-l-i-a-q-u-i-n) and his constant pulling on that long hose all day long. Speaking of Autumn everybody is still talking about the Home Coming Princess/Prom Queen but definitely not like all the soldier boys are still talking about Casey all over the base! All this about girls… I am still trying to remember if it was a male cheerleader or female cheerleader from Arizona State that was in that story about Matt? And how many were there? I am not going to say much about Dr. Rudy Patel accept that that anchor woman that you called a bitch and then later repented cuz she was really hot keeps on calling asking about “that sweet guy who wags his head while he sings Persian love songs all the time”. That Rudy is so hot right now! The kids have been missing you Chris. Specially Thomas. He has been asking when you are going to get him on American Idol and if you think that he would have a chance. He is pretty good with a sling shot.
Also to clear my conscience I must say that I will never,,,, ever…again sneak into a Bolivian boy’s bathroom with Brenda and Kelly again. That place was friggin’ nasty…. specially at the Cochabamba fair grounds! I can also say that the gerbils living in my back yard feel much more at ease without Irene constantly chasing them around the garden….thank you very much! And last but not least Dr. Henry, Tammy says she misses talking theology and about God issues with you.
So there it is folks! Give a round of applause the CCCLA group!
Steady as she blows!
FeO2 “El Juevudo"
Also to clear my conscience I must say that I will never,,,, ever…again sneak into a Bolivian boy’s bathroom with Brenda and Kelly again. That place was friggin’ nasty…. specially at the Cochabamba fair grounds! I can also say that the gerbils living in my back yard feel much more at ease without Irene constantly chasing them around the garden….thank you very much! And last but not least Dr. Henry, Tammy says she misses talking theology and about God issues with you.
So there it is folks! Give a round of applause the CCCLA group!
Steady as she blows!
FeO2 “El Juevudo"
April 30th, 2008: Panties and over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders!
So my chiropractic mission group is now in town. I went to do an interview to promote this project at a local TV station this am which is called the "Mañanera" (morning show). As providence would have it I was set up to go on camara after the 2 lingerie models. These two girls were stealing the show up until that point modeling their companies wears in a very high-falootin’ fashion. I watched them run passed me several times through the waiting room where I was. They were trotting in what looked to be very uncomfortable high heels back and forth to the bathroom which was their dressing room. This was all to change their undies between different appearances. I even caught the sight of the edge of an ariola as one was running out of the bathroom still tucking herself in on the way to the sound stage. I wont lie and say that I was not entertained.......
Anyway when my turn came to go in for my interview I got the same questions as I usual do during these mission projects about the profession and the project itself from both the female and male interviewers who hosted the show. Then the male interviewer all of a sudden said "Why don’t you give us a demonstration on my partner here?" I said "Ok!" So I set up for a seated cervical adjustment on the woman interviewer’s neck. Then it happened. The lapel microphone that she was wearing picked up the complete posterior joint cavitations sounds or the cracking sounds of a chiropractic adjustment. This event thundered through the stations sound system. It was awesome! The camera men heads poked out from the behind the cameras and the male interviewer’s eyes popped out of his head. She was kind of dazed for a little while but when she came to she said "That was fantastic!". Then every body was taking pictures of ME for once. Everybody had then forgotten all about the little "panty weasels" that were on not even 5 minutes before. It is little something I like to call "fightin' for survival". I nailed that bitch! Or as Will Ferrell would say "That's how ya debate!!!"
Then I spent the rest of my camera time smilin' and sippin' on a Coca-cola (product placement) with my TV hosts for the sponsors all the while saying “Mmmm this Coca-cola is delicious!”.
When I rock the mic, I rock the mic!!
FeO2
Anyway when my turn came to go in for my interview I got the same questions as I usual do during these mission projects about the profession and the project itself from both the female and male interviewers who hosted the show. Then the male interviewer all of a sudden said "Why don’t you give us a demonstration on my partner here?" I said "Ok!" So I set up for a seated cervical adjustment on the woman interviewer’s neck. Then it happened. The lapel microphone that she was wearing picked up the complete posterior joint cavitations sounds or the cracking sounds of a chiropractic adjustment. This event thundered through the stations sound system. It was awesome! The camera men heads poked out from the behind the cameras and the male interviewer’s eyes popped out of his head. She was kind of dazed for a little while but when she came to she said "That was fantastic!". Then every body was taking pictures of ME for once. Everybody had then forgotten all about the little "panty weasels" that were on not even 5 minutes before. It is little something I like to call "fightin' for survival". I nailed that bitch! Or as Will Ferrell would say "That's how ya debate!!!"
Then I spent the rest of my camera time smilin' and sippin' on a Coca-cola (product placement) with my TV hosts for the sponsors all the while saying “Mmmm this Coca-cola is delicious!”.
When I rock the mic, I rock the mic!!
FeO2
14th of April, 2007, Monday, Pics of me.
So I decided to go through the Rusty albums again and as usual I was embarrassed at what I found. But instead of turning my back on my past I decided to embrace it and accept who I am. So I have made a fun game of this for you. (One of Rusty’s social enhancement activities). The game is to find the picture that is the most irreparably emotionally damaging to the viewers mental conscious. http://picasaweb.google.com/rustyfirestone/RustyTheKid
You may laugh, you may smile, and you may get board and want to go make your self a sandwich.
So now I leave you with one more quote from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
“If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it’s not”
Good luck to you! I will await your answers
FeO2
PS I must apologies in front of all to Tammy of whom I have committed the unpardonable transgression of scraping all the nuts off the top of the "Fudgie Wudgie" brand fudge. I am soooooo sorry!
So here are the responses to my last blog:
Lisa wrote: “Very cute! I also noticed your baby dolls on the floor!”
Rusty wrote: “Those ‘baby dolls’ happened to get me through high school, college, and most of life in general! Thank you very much.”
Jim Lopez wrote: “I remember you flopping as you were pounded by the waves, trying to stay on that atomic capsule of a board.”
Rusty wrote: “Dude wasn’t that the day that you asked me to help you take off your winter suit (that was at that point stuck around your ankles) while lying on your back in the grass with your legs up in the air? To steady myself I had to plant my foot on your crotch to pull the opposite direction of said anatomy. I remember your eyes bulging out of your head almost as much as your little red testis out on each side of my foot. BTW who the hell wears tighty-whities under neoprene? (besides you of course) Hey you owe me a signed copy of your newly published book.
You should meet my other friend that has the same name as you. His name is Rev. Gym Yurika (pronounced “you-reek-uh”). He is kind of a false profit though…..but in a good way. So Rev. Gym Yurika the “False Profit” meet Jim Lo “the After Glow”.
Daryle wrote: “Nice, Rusty, nice. How did you save your work on that? “
Rusty wrote: “Shut up Daryle!”
Oh yes I almost forgot…the answer to the game of “find the picture that is the most irreparably emotionally damaging to the viewers” is……the one of “Rusty the Arteest”. In this picture I am not wearing any pants! Nobody got it right. Ha-ha!
You may laugh, you may smile, and you may get board and want to go make your self a sandwich.
So now I leave you with one more quote from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
“If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it’s not”
Good luck to you! I will await your answers
FeO2
PS I must apologies in front of all to Tammy of whom I have committed the unpardonable transgression of scraping all the nuts off the top of the "Fudgie Wudgie" brand fudge. I am soooooo sorry!
So here are the responses to my last blog:
Lisa wrote: “Very cute! I also noticed your baby dolls on the floor!”
Rusty wrote: “Those ‘baby dolls’ happened to get me through high school, college, and most of life in general! Thank you very much.”
Jim Lopez wrote: “I remember you flopping as you were pounded by the waves, trying to stay on that atomic capsule of a board.”
Rusty wrote: “Dude wasn’t that the day that you asked me to help you take off your winter suit (that was at that point stuck around your ankles) while lying on your back in the grass with your legs up in the air? To steady myself I had to plant my foot on your crotch to pull the opposite direction of said anatomy. I remember your eyes bulging out of your head almost as much as your little red testis out on each side of my foot. BTW who the hell wears tighty-whities under neoprene? (besides you of course) Hey you owe me a signed copy of your newly published book.
You should meet my other friend that has the same name as you. His name is Rev. Gym Yurika (pronounced “you-reek-uh”). He is kind of a false profit though…..but in a good way. So Rev. Gym Yurika the “False Profit” meet Jim Lo “the After Glow”.
Daryle wrote: “Nice, Rusty, nice. How did you save your work on that? “
Rusty wrote: “Shut up Daryle!”
Oh yes I almost forgot…the answer to the game of “find the picture that is the most irreparably emotionally damaging to the viewers” is……the one of “Rusty the Arteest”. In this picture I am not wearing any pants! Nobody got it right. Ha-ha!
Thurs., April 3rd, 2008, So why can’t I get along with clergy?!?
Yesterday I went to lunch at a local reunion of all the Anglican/ Episcopalian clergy in the Bolivian diocese which was being held at the Bishops house here in Cochabamba. After lunch the bishop’s wife walked into the house with this gigantic cast on her hand. I thought for kicks I would squeeze her “cast” and ask her if it hurt. “Ha-ha” right? Well as luck would have it when I squeezed the supposed cast the bishop’s wife let out a blood curdling scream. Apparently the cast was not a cast but a bandage instead. Nothing is what it seems any more. Give me the days when a cast was a cast and sharp, shooting, exquisite pain is what it seems! Anyway the bishop’s wife started screaming and crying then all of a sudden she bent over and latched her jaws onto my arm and held this excruciating grip for what seemed to be an eternity. I really did not know what to do at this point. “What would Jesus do?”
Then later I took my parents to dinner with all the priests that were united for this weekend meeting. I took my parents because my father is an Anglican priest and he did not have a ride as he was from out of town. My mother who is also an ordained deacon was part of the group. So there I am in the middle of all these priests and the bishop. Well, as any one in their proper mind would do I ordered several beers to take the edge off the pressure of the company that I was in. So after a couple of mean liters the bishop asked me how my trip went to Chile and if I had ridden any funiculars. I then told him that we had indeed ridden a funicular to the top of the center hill of Santiago to where there is a big statue of the Virgin Mary. But what I apparently said was “I went up to the virgin but I did not get up on top of her…heh-heh…hiccup!” At this point I felt my parents sphincters tighten from 8 feet away and one of the younger priest dropped his head to the table and lost himself in uncontrollable laughter. Unfortunately he was the only one that really laughed. Their were two other priests that gave up a couple of nervous snickers and everybody else was silent. The Bishop then looked at me sideways and said “Amen brother.” As if to say “It’s a good thing you did not!”
If Gym would have been there he would have been right proud of his little bastard.
Steady as she goes!
FeO2
Then later I took my parents to dinner with all the priests that were united for this weekend meeting. I took my parents because my father is an Anglican priest and he did not have a ride as he was from out of town. My mother who is also an ordained deacon was part of the group. So there I am in the middle of all these priests and the bishop. Well, as any one in their proper mind would do I ordered several beers to take the edge off the pressure of the company that I was in. So after a couple of mean liters the bishop asked me how my trip went to Chile and if I had ridden any funiculars. I then told him that we had indeed ridden a funicular to the top of the center hill of Santiago to where there is a big statue of the Virgin Mary. But what I apparently said was “I went up to the virgin but I did not get up on top of her…heh-heh…hiccup!” At this point I felt my parents sphincters tighten from 8 feet away and one of the younger priest dropped his head to the table and lost himself in uncontrollable laughter. Unfortunately he was the only one that really laughed. Their were two other priests that gave up a couple of nervous snickers and everybody else was silent. The Bishop then looked at me sideways and said “Amen brother.” As if to say “It’s a good thing you did not!”
If Gym would have been there he would have been right proud of his little bastard.
Steady as she goes!
FeO2
April 1, 2008, Party Favorites by Rusty
Captains Blog: “Party Favorites by Rusty”
So I just got back from Chile where we did various touristy type activities. One of these activities was to ride the “funicular”. Right now you may be asking “What the hell is a funicular?” It is sort of a tram/trolley system that transport people and things up steep grades and hills in Chile. Chile has been famous for these apparatti for many years. So while I was riding these things I came up with a cool activity that you can do whenever you get together to impress your hoity-toitty friends at a party, barmitzfas, or what ever. What you do is start making up sentences where you can interchange the words “funicular” and “vernacular”. Example: “I spoke to her in her own local (funicular/vernacular) and she understood me.” Believe me there are thousands of combinations. Once you get this going at a graduation or wedding you will find that you and your friends will soon be laughing copiously like a bunch of friggin’ idiots. The party never ends with one of these Rusty’s social suggestions for party fun. (BTW, Did I mention the weed and the LSD is a given?)
So concludes the report of my trip to Chile.
Oh wait! I forgot to mention that I got a couple cool new posters for my random poster collection. For those of you who do not know I have this hobby of collecting random posters in the different countries that I go to. (Christmas getting’ ideas…hint-hint, wink-wink, say no more) These posters are usually found on walls, windows, and such of used book stores and coffee shops. They will usually be announcing cultural events like theaters, concerts and other things that have cool graphics. Chile rendered “The Marijuana Monologues” and “Terror Fest”. Unfortunately I had all these posters in a role that I left in my seat on the airplane when I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back to my seat I found that Captain (who WAS a friend of ours) sitting in my seat chatting with Tammy and the other people that we were traveling with. To my chagrin my posters tightly tucked under his arse. Damn it! That’s the last time I fly LAN Chile even if they are a part of the so-called apocalyptical “One World Alliance”.
So take a look at the pics of the trip!
http://picasaweb.google.com/rustyfirestone/ChilePics
Feo2
So I just got back from Chile where we did various touristy type activities. One of these activities was to ride the “funicular”. Right now you may be asking “What the hell is a funicular?” It is sort of a tram/trolley system that transport people and things up steep grades and hills in Chile. Chile has been famous for these apparatti for many years. So while I was riding these things I came up with a cool activity that you can do whenever you get together to impress your hoity-toitty friends at a party, barmitzfas, or what ever. What you do is start making up sentences where you can interchange the words “funicular” and “vernacular”. Example: “I spoke to her in her own local (funicular/vernacular) and she understood me.” Believe me there are thousands of combinations. Once you get this going at a graduation or wedding you will find that you and your friends will soon be laughing copiously like a bunch of friggin’ idiots. The party never ends with one of these Rusty’s social suggestions for party fun. (BTW, Did I mention the weed and the LSD is a given?)
So concludes the report of my trip to Chile.
Oh wait! I forgot to mention that I got a couple cool new posters for my random poster collection. For those of you who do not know I have this hobby of collecting random posters in the different countries that I go to. (Christmas getting’ ideas…hint-hint, wink-wink, say no more) These posters are usually found on walls, windows, and such of used book stores and coffee shops. They will usually be announcing cultural events like theaters, concerts and other things that have cool graphics. Chile rendered “The Marijuana Monologues” and “Terror Fest”. Unfortunately I had all these posters in a role that I left in my seat on the airplane when I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back to my seat I found that Captain (who WAS a friend of ours) sitting in my seat chatting with Tammy and the other people that we were traveling with. To my chagrin my posters tightly tucked under his arse. Damn it! That’s the last time I fly LAN Chile even if they are a part of the so-called apocalyptical “One World Alliance”.
So take a look at the pics of the trip!
http://picasaweb.google.com/rustyfirestone/ChilePics
Feo2
7th of March, 2008 Drugs-drugs-drugs!
Johnnie, my secretary, was slightly limping around the office this am. I did not have to ask him what was up as he has recently been complaining about this pain he has been having in his ankle. Every chance he has had he has been lifting his pant leg to show me how he has been suffering. I gave him several recommendations but as usual he ignored me. So this am I heard my last complaint and I told him to lie down on the table face down. I told him to loosen his drawers. His eyes got really big and he looked at me with disbelief. Then I had to order him. At which point he proceeded to get down on the table. I took out a syringe and an anti-inflammatory and started the process of drawing the medication.
He then looked at me and said “You are so calm when you do that.”
I said “That is because it is not me who is lying on the table, heh-heh.” So when I finally got around to the harpooning part I was surprised to see and feel how easy the needle just slid right into Johnnie’s ass. I was expecting the skin to resist a little more than it did. Another thing that I noticed is that Johnnie had really smooth and soft buttocks. Who would a thunk it!?!? Anywhoo, Johnnie got off the table fastened his belt and went back to his desk. I said “Como esta la nacha ahora?” He didn’t say much. The next time he came back to give me a file I noticed his slight limp had turned into a severe and pronounced limp. But I have not heard a single complaint from him for the rest of the day. So I may conclude that the therapy was a success. Yeah!
In other news early this am before I went to the office for work I went down to visit Don Alfredo my neighbor and close friend. When I got there he started to tell me how his last renter grew this crazy plant and that he just found out it was a marijuana plant. Oddly enough for all his being aghast over the situation he had not thrown the plant away or destroyed it. I said to him after noticing this “Alfredo, why you are just letting this plant go to waste….I mean it is just sitting there drying up. Doesn’t it have some kind of use or something?”
So I am sure that all of you are wondering what exactly I will be doing this weekend. Well since Ginsberg my black lab has gone into heat I plan on inviting Dino the neighbors blond male lab to come over. This will be the second time Dino has been over this heat. The first time he was a complete failure cuz he is a wimp. This time I plan on holding Ginsberg in a head lock to keep her from moving. Well on second thought I better try some kind of hold-down maneuver that does not require me to turn my back to Dino. I do not trust his intelligence as of late.
Anyway I would like to give a shout to all my friends out there in e-mail land! Thanks for the pic.s Jan! Paula try to stay alive out there it’s a dog-eat-dog world! Sofia you mamma and I are still friends. Gym, have an extra hot-dog for me while you are in the US at that spring training game while you are supposed to be working! Shane keep shoveling that snow. Ron keep the birdie pics commin'. LeMel where the hell is that blog site?!?!? Daryl those truly were amazing pic.s of holes in the ground ya sent over. Keep on using your time wisely! Joanne, I would totally be board without your am online chats! Thanks for the stimulating e-mail debates Unkie Ray but your pagan Scandinavian roots are starting to show! And yes all, Tammy will be playing the role of the harlot (la putita) in the church play! So if anybody is interested in a DVD of the play let me know.
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
He then looked at me and said “You are so calm when you do that.”
I said “That is because it is not me who is lying on the table, heh-heh.” So when I finally got around to the harpooning part I was surprised to see and feel how easy the needle just slid right into Johnnie’s ass. I was expecting the skin to resist a little more than it did. Another thing that I noticed is that Johnnie had really smooth and soft buttocks. Who would a thunk it!?!? Anywhoo, Johnnie got off the table fastened his belt and went back to his desk. I said “Como esta la nacha ahora?” He didn’t say much. The next time he came back to give me a file I noticed his slight limp had turned into a severe and pronounced limp. But I have not heard a single complaint from him for the rest of the day. So I may conclude that the therapy was a success. Yeah!
In other news early this am before I went to the office for work I went down to visit Don Alfredo my neighbor and close friend. When I got there he started to tell me how his last renter grew this crazy plant and that he just found out it was a marijuana plant. Oddly enough for all his being aghast over the situation he had not thrown the plant away or destroyed it. I said to him after noticing this “Alfredo, why you are just letting this plant go to waste….I mean it is just sitting there drying up. Doesn’t it have some kind of use or something?”
So I am sure that all of you are wondering what exactly I will be doing this weekend. Well since Ginsberg my black lab has gone into heat I plan on inviting Dino the neighbors blond male lab to come over. This will be the second time Dino has been over this heat. The first time he was a complete failure cuz he is a wimp. This time I plan on holding Ginsberg in a head lock to keep her from moving. Well on second thought I better try some kind of hold-down maneuver that does not require me to turn my back to Dino. I do not trust his intelligence as of late.
Anyway I would like to give a shout to all my friends out there in e-mail land! Thanks for the pic.s Jan! Paula try to stay alive out there it’s a dog-eat-dog world! Sofia you mamma and I are still friends. Gym, have an extra hot-dog for me while you are in the US at that spring training game while you are supposed to be working! Shane keep shoveling that snow. Ron keep the birdie pics commin'. LeMel where the hell is that blog site?!?!? Daryl those truly were amazing pic.s of holes in the ground ya sent over. Keep on using your time wisely! Joanne, I would totally be board without your am online chats! Thanks for the stimulating e-mail debates Unkie Ray but your pagan Scandinavian roots are starting to show! And yes all, Tammy will be playing the role of the harlot (la putita) in the church play! So if anybody is interested in a DVD of the play let me know.
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
So the results are in. I have just got back the responses to my last blog. They are the following:
Offy said; “….the point is this. I blame Jhonny for [my] back injury, it was his fault that I was playing footie that night a year ago, so next time you’re feeling up his arse, give it a big SLAP for me and tell him that he owes me $200 for his ping pong table that’s been ready for him for several months.”
Rusty said; “Dude “playing footie (Offy’s way of saying footsies, I guess) with Johnnie”? It just may be you who will be seeing Johnnies arse next.”
Offy’s response to the pic. was; “I thought we were going to see a pic of you administering said drugs to his other pin cushion?”
Rusty said; “Apparently I will be leaving that one for you, Big Daddy!”
Then Sofa Loaf said; “Hee-hee! You made a funny! You touched Johnnie's booty!!!”
Rusy said; “Well when you put it that way I am afraid you are right. But is this the same as touching Johnnie in his pants? Should I have myself tested?”
Sofa Loaf’s response to the Pic. was; “What a pair. Makes me want to hug myself.”
Rusty said; “Knock yourself out!”
Then LeMel said; “What the hell, Rusty, I blog at the same site you do! Do you mean to say to me that you wouldn't be able to find your own ass if I held a mirror for you? On the other hand, I haven't posted anything in a while.”
Rusty said; “I guess but I didn’t need one to find Johnnies arse! Heh-heh.”
Then Anastasias response to the pic. was; “that is a SEXY picture of you two.”
Rusty said; “FINALLY a woman with taste!!!!”
Then Anastasia said; “I had to put is as my screen saver. Its been awhile since I had seen so much hotness in one place.”
Rusty said; “Your the reason God created women! Dan is sooo lucky to have you! I take back everything I have said in the past about you! You have just redeemed your sex.”
“As a young boy when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school, you wonder if you should go home and change, but be late for school, or go to school and be dirty and soaking wet. Well while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again!” Yet another Deep Thought frome Jack Handey.
Have a great week!
FeO2
Offy said; “….the point is this. I blame Jhonny for [my] back injury, it was his fault that I was playing footie that night a year ago, so next time you’re feeling up his arse, give it a big SLAP for me and tell him that he owes me $200 for his ping pong table that’s been ready for him for several months.”
Rusty said; “Dude “playing footie (Offy’s way of saying footsies, I guess) with Johnnie”? It just may be you who will be seeing Johnnies arse next.”
Offy’s response to the pic. was; “I thought we were going to see a pic of you administering said drugs to his other pin cushion?”
Rusty said; “Apparently I will be leaving that one for you, Big Daddy!”
Then Sofa Loaf said; “Hee-hee! You made a funny! You touched Johnnie's booty!!!”
Rusy said; “Well when you put it that way I am afraid you are right. But is this the same as touching Johnnie in his pants? Should I have myself tested?”
Sofa Loaf’s response to the Pic. was; “What a pair. Makes me want to hug myself.”
Rusty said; “Knock yourself out!”
Then LeMel said; “What the hell, Rusty, I blog at the same site you do! Do you mean to say to me that you wouldn't be able to find your own ass if I held a mirror for you? On the other hand, I haven't posted anything in a while.”
Rusty said; “I guess but I didn’t need one to find Johnnies arse! Heh-heh.”
Then Anastasias response to the pic. was; “that is a SEXY picture of you two.”
Rusty said; “FINALLY a woman with taste!!!!”
Then Anastasia said; “I had to put is as my screen saver. Its been awhile since I had seen so much hotness in one place.”
Rusty said; “Your the reason God created women! Dan is sooo lucky to have you! I take back everything I have said in the past about you! You have just redeemed your sex.”
“As a young boy when you get splashed by a mud puddle on the way to school, you wonder if you should go home and change, but be late for school, or go to school and be dirty and soaking wet. Well while he tried to decide, I drove by and splashed him again!” Yet another Deep Thought frome Jack Handey.
Have a great week!
FeO2
29th of Feb. 2008 (leap year) Cursin', Spittin' an' fightin'!
I decided to take my “Deluxe Cat Flap” to a carpenter who is making me a few new doors. In doing so I requested that he incorporate in this cat door into one of the human (Homo-Saipan “Yo, I ain’t down wid dat”) doors. After I had explained what I wanted to the carpenter he gave me this strange look like “What will you sick-perverted gringos think of next. Why in the hell would you want small animals just entering your house at random”. I then sensed his discomfort using my very acute super power of intercultural sensitivity. It was at this point that I gave him my best Spanky wink to relax him and to let him know that everything was cool! But for some reason this did not seem to put the poor bastard at ease. I really do not know why this did not work as it has always worked for Spanky. Could it be that all my years in putting faith in the Little Rascals has led me astray? Naaahhh!
Speaking of the cat, I was watching her yesterday “off” a gerbil/guinea pig. It reminded me of what Dan from LA told me once that house cats are the most vicious feline killers there are. Most animals in the feline class only kill for defense or for food. But the common house cat is the only one that kills for pleasure. So I thought of this as I watched Jack the Cat torturing this poor bleeding rodent. I had to turn my head even though you would think that I would be desensitized to this type of thing after seeing John Rambo. But it is just not true. Rambo did not blast any cute rodents. He just did a bunch of evil Burmese soldiers who were already going to hell anyway. I mean what do us as humans really care about them anyway.
Speaking about human, when Tammy got home today she told me to avoid the main route into town cuz there was a truck-driver fight going on in the middle of the road. So what did I do? You right! The redneck-hillbilly part of me says “This ain't som’in’ you wanna miss out on”. Sos I goes straightway to the wrastlin’ an’ cursin’. All the way there I could see some guys named Juancho and Claudino (typical Bolivian names) dukin’ it out. I was as giddy as a school girl. You know when you go to these events that you are always supposed to cheer for the guy who looks like he is loosing. Stuff like “Getem widcha good arm Juancho!”, “ Bite-em with that loose tooth Claudino!”, and last but not least “Get up Claudino…. what are you doing Juancho, keep kicking Claudino while he is down! No not there, you fool! In the crotch or the head! You will never get anywhere that way!”
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
Speaking of the cat, I was watching her yesterday “off” a gerbil/guinea pig. It reminded me of what Dan from LA told me once that house cats are the most vicious feline killers there are. Most animals in the feline class only kill for defense or for food. But the common house cat is the only one that kills for pleasure. So I thought of this as I watched Jack the Cat torturing this poor bleeding rodent. I had to turn my head even though you would think that I would be desensitized to this type of thing after seeing John Rambo. But it is just not true. Rambo did not blast any cute rodents. He just did a bunch of evil Burmese soldiers who were already going to hell anyway. I mean what do us as humans really care about them anyway.
Speaking about human, when Tammy got home today she told me to avoid the main route into town cuz there was a truck-driver fight going on in the middle of the road. So what did I do? You right! The redneck-hillbilly part of me says “This ain't som’in’ you wanna miss out on”. Sos I goes straightway to the wrastlin’ an’ cursin’. All the way there I could see some guys named Juancho and Claudino (typical Bolivian names) dukin’ it out. I was as giddy as a school girl. You know when you go to these events that you are always supposed to cheer for the guy who looks like he is loosing. Stuff like “Getem widcha good arm Juancho!”, “ Bite-em with that loose tooth Claudino!”, and last but not least “Get up Claudino…. what are you doing Juancho, keep kicking Claudino while he is down! No not there, you fool! In the crotch or the head! You will never get anywhere that way!”
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
Feb., 15, 2008, Random book review
I just got finished reading “BORAT: Touristic Guidings to Minor Nation of U.S. and A. and Touristic Guidings to Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” by Borat Sagdiyev,. The publishing states that it is a follow up to the movie. There, of course, are lots of pictures and as you can as well imagine this made the book for me.
In his book Borat claims that Alaska is a leper colony. I hear no one arguing this one. I would even add to this and say that large parts of Utah, Idaho, and Texas are refuges for the infamous Hanson’s disease as well.
He then goes on to mention some of the great sports that are practiced in his glorious country. One was the lifting of various automotive parts with ones manly hood. This is done by tethering one end of a nylon cord to the male appendage and the other end of the chord to the desired vehicle part or accessory. We are led to believe that Borates personal record is a tractor battery. Of course it is hard to deny as there is a picture of the author with said chord dangling from what looks to be a strained little piece of white flesh being stretched about a half inch below his super tight jogging shorts all the while suspending a battery about 2 inches off the floor on the opposite end of the chord. In the picture Borat bares and extreme expression of strain. He then goes on to state that the international record in this sport is some guys name which I cannot recall (or “misremember” if your name is Roger Clemens) who lifted an entire farm tractor gear box. Hats off! There was also the endurance sport of lifting and carrying women cross country against there will but I was not that impressed by this event. Borat or Sacha Baron Cohen which is the authors real name touches on that which all cultures often typically err on. And that is “different” is not only strange but inferior. He has ludicrously turned it on one of the most powerful nations on the planet. Pure ironic genius! He mocks Americans all the while making them laugh at his perceived backward vulgarity.
Anyway after finishing Borats book I shamefully admit that I am retuning to “The Fountainhead” by Ain Rand. This is a book that I have been reading ever since my vacation in Florida with my in-laws. I have been in and out of this one quite a bit. I think I have taken breaks from Ain about 3-4 times to read other books. Perhaps what keeps bringing me back is my affinity to irony. Ain is good at this.
But what I have been most impressed about so far was not so much the book itself but my father-in-laws first comment about it when he asked me what I was reading. He said “You mean to tell me your are reading ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ain Rand. The book that starts off with ‘Howard Roark laughed. He stood naked at the edge of a cliff.’ I remember when that line was read to me back in the 60’s.” Apparently when Jack had this read to him he was a life guard and he would have his pool bunnies read to him. All the while other bunnies (not the smart one reading) would rub down his magnificent bod’ with cocoa oils and only God know what else. They would start with his bulging biceps, slide to his doubling deltoids, and then finally move on to his elongated longisimus brevis muscle (Hey look, an oxymoron in the Latin language. How many of you smarty pants out there can do this with a dead language. Yes-yes, I know I am an ox and a moron…Gym). It was amazing that he was able to rescue as many lives as he did while munching on all those grapes. But he saved the day! No one was as cool as Jack Walther at that pool. When I grow up I want to be just like him.
In his book Borat claims that Alaska is a leper colony. I hear no one arguing this one. I would even add to this and say that large parts of Utah, Idaho, and Texas are refuges for the infamous Hanson’s disease as well.
He then goes on to mention some of the great sports that are practiced in his glorious country. One was the lifting of various automotive parts with ones manly hood. This is done by tethering one end of a nylon cord to the male appendage and the other end of the chord to the desired vehicle part or accessory. We are led to believe that Borates personal record is a tractor battery. Of course it is hard to deny as there is a picture of the author with said chord dangling from what looks to be a strained little piece of white flesh being stretched about a half inch below his super tight jogging shorts all the while suspending a battery about 2 inches off the floor on the opposite end of the chord. In the picture Borat bares and extreme expression of strain. He then goes on to state that the international record in this sport is some guys name which I cannot recall (or “misremember” if your name is Roger Clemens) who lifted an entire farm tractor gear box. Hats off! There was also the endurance sport of lifting and carrying women cross country against there will but I was not that impressed by this event. Borat or Sacha Baron Cohen which is the authors real name touches on that which all cultures often typically err on. And that is “different” is not only strange but inferior. He has ludicrously turned it on one of the most powerful nations on the planet. Pure ironic genius! He mocks Americans all the while making them laugh at his perceived backward vulgarity.
Anyway after finishing Borats book I shamefully admit that I am retuning to “The Fountainhead” by Ain Rand. This is a book that I have been reading ever since my vacation in Florida with my in-laws. I have been in and out of this one quite a bit. I think I have taken breaks from Ain about 3-4 times to read other books. Perhaps what keeps bringing me back is my affinity to irony. Ain is good at this.
But what I have been most impressed about so far was not so much the book itself but my father-in-laws first comment about it when he asked me what I was reading. He said “You mean to tell me your are reading ‘The Fountainhead’ by Ain Rand. The book that starts off with ‘Howard Roark laughed. He stood naked at the edge of a cliff.’ I remember when that line was read to me back in the 60’s.” Apparently when Jack had this read to him he was a life guard and he would have his pool bunnies read to him. All the while other bunnies (not the smart one reading) would rub down his magnificent bod’ with cocoa oils and only God know what else. They would start with his bulging biceps, slide to his doubling deltoids, and then finally move on to his elongated longisimus brevis muscle (Hey look, an oxymoron in the Latin language. How many of you smarty pants out there can do this with a dead language. Yes-yes, I know I am an ox and a moron…Gym). It was amazing that he was able to rescue as many lives as he did while munching on all those grapes. But he saved the day! No one was as cool as Jack Walther at that pool. When I grow up I want to be just like him.
FeO2
Feb. 3rd 2008, Ethnic foods and why they are hell fires straight from the bowels El Diablo…and the ramblings of an insane man
Last night Tammy aroused me from what seemed to be a disturbed sleep. (As I am usually easily aroused…so I am told.) She then explained to me that I was whimpering and growling in my sleep. I must say that this is not a usual habit of mine. A’hoo, after I was awoke I lay there with lingering visions of walking down and a cold, dark, eerie, La Paz street in the middle of the night. Then all of the sudden being attacked by dozens of street urchins with sky masks on. At first they just wanted to shine my shoes but then upon finding out I was wearing my father-in-laws pink neoprene deck slippers (not shine able) violence insured. I had to start to fight them off left and right “Street Fighter” style! And to tell you the truth I was not doing too bad waving my hands around and doing my Bruce Lee “oooooOOOooooOOOoo”. But while I was in the middle of opening up a Can-o-Wup-Ass Tammy decided that I had had enough and woke me up just in the middle of my moment of glory. But then I felt the churning of the partially digested vittles of insanity from the orient!
This is the first dream that I remember since the last time I ate Indean food with my friends Gym and his wife. That last time I had actually stayed at their house to take a nap. In my fitful slumber there I dreamed that I went to hell. Like I said before, it was not all as bad as it is always chalked up to be by most western religiosity. It is like going to visit your cousins on the farm when you were fifteen and cool. First the smell kind of annoys ya then the next thing ya know you’re making out with your cousin in the hay-loft and for some reason it does not matter that she is 20 years older than you with 5 kids of her own. “Fucked up” you might say, but remember it IS hell.
FeO2
This is the first dream that I remember since the last time I ate Indean food with my friends Gym and his wife. That last time I had actually stayed at their house to take a nap. In my fitful slumber there I dreamed that I went to hell. Like I said before, it was not all as bad as it is always chalked up to be by most western religiosity. It is like going to visit your cousins on the farm when you were fifteen and cool. First the smell kind of annoys ya then the next thing ya know you’re making out with your cousin in the hay-loft and for some reason it does not matter that she is 20 years older than you with 5 kids of her own. “Fucked up” you might say, but remember it IS hell.
FeO2
An afternoon at the matinee with short people
Yesterday marked the last full day I would be without my wife alone with the kids. Tammy has been gone to California visiting one of the MIL units (Mother in Law) as they seem to be a plethora of them around as of late.
Last Thursday my good buddy Christina took Thomas my oldest to the theater with her eldest Niko to see “The Golden Compass”. Her youngest, little Jake and my youngest, “Taddlein’ Madelyn” were both deemed to small to see the movie as they would get scared. So I became the man in charge while Christina went to see her movie while taking along her 2 excuses to get in as an adult. Of course I had absolutely no problem with this as the maid was the one who would be in charge half of the time cuz that day I got home from the office around 6:00. So when I finally did get home I had complaints of how unfair it was that the older ones got to see a longer movie than they did and that their video ended a long time ago. As if the THREE older ones started to watch their movie as soon as the door closed behind them.
The next morning when I was at the gym I looked through the papers to see if there were any other kiddie movies so I could fight the reported injustices that were delt to these poor marginalized people as I have always championed the short. So I found that “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or as they say around here “Alveen y las Ardillas” was showing. Now I know what you are thinking right about now “Sure Rusty…a movie for the kids...riiight.” Well think what you must, but I will say one thing in my defense, it is a lot easier taking kids to movies that you will enjoy than taking them to stuff you have to suffer through Pokemon for example. Besides it really was the Maddy and Jakes turn. So Saturday late morning Jake, aka Jakey, aka “el Juaquo” (pronounced “whoo-ǒ-ko”, I think I am the only one who calls him this….were buds) and Maddy both 6 set off for the their part of the great South American dream, their slice of the pie if you will.
So we got the theater a half hour late and ended up buying tickets for the next function which left us with about 45 minutes to kill. We were pretty close to lunch time so I decided to take the kids to the food court. When I sat them down Maddy started to pound her little fists on the table and chant a chant which she learned from Grandpa Jack aka “Um-papa” (pronounced “oom-papa”) on our last visit to the US “Food and water-for me and my men, food and water….”which upon reception of her hamburger she had four bites and announced she was done and turned around in her seat. This would be because everybody knows that there is always much more interesting things going on behind the table chair than what is in front of it. I had to force feed her half of the sandwich.
So about fifteen minutes later we got into the theater and both kids started to demand popcorn. Hmm. They presented a good argument though and this was that they wanted it! Who can argue with that! So they got a medium to share? We all headed to the ‘’sala” where at the door both kids grabbed their booster chair (for maximum enjoyment of the cinematic arts as needed by vertically impaired people). As I sat them down by each other I fitted the popcorn cup into the cup holder between them with an ominous feeling about the immediate future. About half way through the film and a third the way through the popcorn a little leg shot forward which was about the same level as the pop corn thanks to my friend the booster seat and knocked the popcorn cup on to the floor. When I picked it up I was only able to salvage the last third and replace it to its original position. Well the smacking and chomping sounds continued as Alvin and his consortium sang on. Around about the 18th stanza I noticed both Juaquo and Maddy were now on their feet and every now and then making quick dips and bows but never staying down to long as not to miss a musical note. It was kinda like that game at Chuckie-Cheeses where gophers heads pop out of their little holes and you whack them with the padded mallet all the while learning valuable lessons of environmental conservation. Of course there was nothing to pop these kids in the head with so I just sat there and let them continue building the flora in the GI Tracts. So a good time was had by all.
Later, on the way home I had to stop by the office to pick something up. So of course both children went in with me. This was apparently little Juaquos first stop by my office so upon walking into the reception room he was dually impressed when he saw my bicycle leaning against some seats (as I often ride my bicycle to work).
Jakey said to Maddy:
“Wow! There’s a bicycle”
Maddy: “Yah, my daddy rides it when Mommy won’t let him drive”
Any way they followed me back to the consult room as children this age just do not stay put. Then Little Juaquo got this smug look on his little face and started smack his little hands together as if he was dusting them off and said “So…this is where the doctor works ay.”
The response was “Yup, when he is not singing with Alvin, Simon, and Theodore”
Which by the way is not such a bad film if you like singing gerbils.
Have a great week!
FeO2
Last Thursday my good buddy Christina took Thomas my oldest to the theater with her eldest Niko to see “The Golden Compass”. Her youngest, little Jake and my youngest, “Taddlein’ Madelyn” were both deemed to small to see the movie as they would get scared. So I became the man in charge while Christina went to see her movie while taking along her 2 excuses to get in as an adult. Of course I had absolutely no problem with this as the maid was the one who would be in charge half of the time cuz that day I got home from the office around 6:00. So when I finally did get home I had complaints of how unfair it was that the older ones got to see a longer movie than they did and that their video ended a long time ago. As if the THREE older ones started to watch their movie as soon as the door closed behind them.
The next morning when I was at the gym I looked through the papers to see if there were any other kiddie movies so I could fight the reported injustices that were delt to these poor marginalized people as I have always championed the short. So I found that “Alvin and the Chipmunks” or as they say around here “Alveen y las Ardillas” was showing. Now I know what you are thinking right about now “Sure Rusty…a movie for the kids...riiight.” Well think what you must, but I will say one thing in my defense, it is a lot easier taking kids to movies that you will enjoy than taking them to stuff you have to suffer through Pokemon for example. Besides it really was the Maddy and Jakes turn. So Saturday late morning Jake, aka Jakey, aka “el Juaquo” (pronounced “whoo-ǒ-ko”, I think I am the only one who calls him this….were buds) and Maddy both 6 set off for the their part of the great South American dream, their slice of the pie if you will.
So we got the theater a half hour late and ended up buying tickets for the next function which left us with about 45 minutes to kill. We were pretty close to lunch time so I decided to take the kids to the food court. When I sat them down Maddy started to pound her little fists on the table and chant a chant which she learned from Grandpa Jack aka “Um-papa” (pronounced “oom-papa”) on our last visit to the US “Food and water-for me and my men, food and water….”which upon reception of her hamburger she had four bites and announced she was done and turned around in her seat. This would be because everybody knows that there is always much more interesting things going on behind the table chair than what is in front of it. I had to force feed her half of the sandwich.
So about fifteen minutes later we got into the theater and both kids started to demand popcorn. Hmm. They presented a good argument though and this was that they wanted it! Who can argue with that! So they got a medium to share? We all headed to the ‘’sala” where at the door both kids grabbed their booster chair (for maximum enjoyment of the cinematic arts as needed by vertically impaired people). As I sat them down by each other I fitted the popcorn cup into the cup holder between them with an ominous feeling about the immediate future. About half way through the film and a third the way through the popcorn a little leg shot forward which was about the same level as the pop corn thanks to my friend the booster seat and knocked the popcorn cup on to the floor. When I picked it up I was only able to salvage the last third and replace it to its original position. Well the smacking and chomping sounds continued as Alvin and his consortium sang on. Around about the 18th stanza I noticed both Juaquo and Maddy were now on their feet and every now and then making quick dips and bows but never staying down to long as not to miss a musical note. It was kinda like that game at Chuckie-Cheeses where gophers heads pop out of their little holes and you whack them with the padded mallet all the while learning valuable lessons of environmental conservation. Of course there was nothing to pop these kids in the head with so I just sat there and let them continue building the flora in the GI Tracts. So a good time was had by all.
Later, on the way home I had to stop by the office to pick something up. So of course both children went in with me. This was apparently little Juaquos first stop by my office so upon walking into the reception room he was dually impressed when he saw my bicycle leaning against some seats (as I often ride my bicycle to work).
Jakey said to Maddy:
“Wow! There’s a bicycle”
Maddy: “Yah, my daddy rides it when Mommy won’t let him drive”
Any way they followed me back to the consult room as children this age just do not stay put. Then Little Juaquo got this smug look on his little face and started smack his little hands together as if he was dusting them off and said “So…this is where the doctor works ay.”
The response was “Yup, when he is not singing with Alvin, Simon, and Theodore”
Which by the way is not such a bad film if you like singing gerbils.
Have a great week!
FeO2
Jan. 5, 2008 "Don’t never got no brain or nothing."
Don’t never got no brain or nothin’.
As you can see from the title of the blog this was the motto for this last holiday break which all-in-all turned out quite well. It started out with a church Christmas party in which I almost had to pull Johnnie (my secretary) out of a fist fight with the “Padre”. Apperently Johnnie is thinking that since he has been playing racquet ball with the Bishop and taking racquet ball blows to the back of the head with out complaining that he has some kind of special relationship with the powers that be. Any way I made Johnnie promise that if I bought those beers for him before the church Christmas party that he would behave. As folly would have it during the party Johnnie got his bad-ass look on his face and walked by the Padre and bumped his shoulder into the padre’s unsuspecting shoulder. The problem is that Johnnie is just way too cool.
So we also went to Florida for the actual holidays to be with the in-laws Jack and Audrey. You remember Florida is the state where the ex-president of Bolivia Gonzalo Sanchez de Lozada has been gone missin’ for a while now. Sumbitch that he is! This was very nice visit, of course, all though slightly uneventful. But there was the occasion when I got up to do my 2am feeding as often is the occasion is when I do not sleep around that time and I went to watch some TV. Well there I was watching the tube and I noticed the light get turned on in the kitchen and Jack went into the kitchen to do something. I did not really do much as I saw Jack go in and out (as I was in the middle of John Candies “Uncle Buck”) then wave “good night” as he went back to bed. Then the next morning at breakfast Jack looked at me and said “Sorry about last night.”
My response was “What are you talking about?”
“Well…the fact that I did not have any clothes on.”
“Hm, I really must start paying attention to these types of things.”
Once again I will be blaming the ADD on this one. But it does make me wonder just how much nudity I have actually missed in the past. I mean not everybody is just going to come up to me and prompt me “Hey buddy! I’m completely naked in front of you right now.” Although it would be helpful.
Then holiday travel is always a hoot! Tammy after Florida went to visit Irene her mother and I came home to Bolivia with the kids. At the airport Tammy was stressed to make her flight and American Airlines was not helping her situation. She got so mad that she started showing her teeth, saying words, and bobbing her head up and down so her hair was flying all over the place. She kinda looked like a 80s head banger. Anyway she got off on her flight on time and left us standing at the counter. So when it was my turn at the desk the woman working there sweetly told me that my flight was canceled and that if I wanted to make my international flight connection out of Miami I would have to go over land. So I grabbed the kids got a car and hugged Jack and Audrey goodbye and was off. After a trip from mid state Florida to Miami (and let me remind you that it is a long state) while driving at Hazard county speeds I still missed my international flight. So I had to re-accommodate to the midnight flight. When it was all said and done with I left for Bolivia about an hour after I was supposed to get there. I wish Tammy could have been there to head bang for me as I do not have the hair it requires.
When we finally got back to Cochabamba we were hit with the news that “Jack” the family cat had just pooped out 2 new cats! The kids were of course ecstatic. But I was just left with 2 questions in my head: A) Jack’s old enough to be having kittens? B) Jack’s a female? Damn ADD!
FeO2
I have recently heard back from some of you and I must admit that my good friend Offee (sounds like Coffee) gave me the Spinal Tap “Shit Sandwich” review.
Here is what Offee said:
Good stuff
Christmas has obviously done you good, this was a half decent blog…the recent ones have been going straight in the recycle bin!
Off white
Now that’s just nit picking isn’t it!?!
Well Offee, at least you did not say something like “On which day did God create this blog and why could he not have rested on that day as well?” or “FeO2 you are treading water in a literary sea of retarded ness!
But as always thanks for the e-mail
FeO2
As you can see from the title of the blog this was the motto for this last holiday break which all-in-all turned out quite well. It started out with a church Christmas party in which I almost had to pull Johnnie (my secretary) out of a fist fight with the “Padre”. Apperently Johnnie is thinking that since he has been playing racquet ball with the Bishop and taking racquet ball blows to the back of the head with out complaining that he has some kind of special relationship with the powers that be. Any way I made Johnnie promise that if I bought those beers for him before the church Christmas party that he would behave. As folly would have it during the party Johnnie got his bad-ass look on his face and walked by the Padre and bumped his shoulder into the padre’s unsuspecting shoulder. The problem is that Johnnie is just way too cool.
So we also went to Florida for the actual holidays to be with the in-laws Jack and Audrey. You remember Florida is the state where the ex-president of Bolivia Gonzalo Sanchez de Lozada has been gone missin’ for a while now. Sumbitch that he is! This was very nice visit, of course, all though slightly uneventful. But there was the occasion when I got up to do my 2am feeding as often is the occasion is when I do not sleep around that time and I went to watch some TV. Well there I was watching the tube and I noticed the light get turned on in the kitchen and Jack went into the kitchen to do something. I did not really do much as I saw Jack go in and out (as I was in the middle of John Candies “Uncle Buck”) then wave “good night” as he went back to bed. Then the next morning at breakfast Jack looked at me and said “Sorry about last night.”
My response was “What are you talking about?”
“Well…the fact that I did not have any clothes on.”
“Hm, I really must start paying attention to these types of things.”
Once again I will be blaming the ADD on this one. But it does make me wonder just how much nudity I have actually missed in the past. I mean not everybody is just going to come up to me and prompt me “Hey buddy! I’m completely naked in front of you right now.” Although it would be helpful.
Then holiday travel is always a hoot! Tammy after Florida went to visit Irene her mother and I came home to Bolivia with the kids. At the airport Tammy was stressed to make her flight and American Airlines was not helping her situation. She got so mad that she started showing her teeth, saying words, and bobbing her head up and down so her hair was flying all over the place. She kinda looked like a 80s head banger. Anyway she got off on her flight on time and left us standing at the counter. So when it was my turn at the desk the woman working there sweetly told me that my flight was canceled and that if I wanted to make my international flight connection out of Miami I would have to go over land. So I grabbed the kids got a car and hugged Jack and Audrey goodbye and was off. After a trip from mid state Florida to Miami (and let me remind you that it is a long state) while driving at Hazard county speeds I still missed my international flight. So I had to re-accommodate to the midnight flight. When it was all said and done with I left for Bolivia about an hour after I was supposed to get there. I wish Tammy could have been there to head bang for me as I do not have the hair it requires.
When we finally got back to Cochabamba we were hit with the news that “Jack” the family cat had just pooped out 2 new cats! The kids were of course ecstatic. But I was just left with 2 questions in my head: A) Jack’s old enough to be having kittens? B) Jack’s a female? Damn ADD!
FeO2
I have recently heard back from some of you and I must admit that my good friend Offee (sounds like Coffee) gave me the Spinal Tap “Shit Sandwich” review.
Here is what Offee said:
Good stuff
Christmas has obviously done you good, this was a half decent blog…the recent ones have been going straight in the recycle bin!
Off white
Now that’s just nit picking isn’t it!?!
Well Offee, at least you did not say something like “On which day did God create this blog and why could he not have rested on that day as well?” or “FeO2 you are treading water in a literary sea of retarded ness!
But as always thanks for the e-mail
FeO2
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