Last night there was an amazing lightening storm over the city of Cochabamba. There was a sort of “Modern Day Prometheus” feeling going on. Any way while I was in my Mary Shelly mood I started thinking of one of Tammy’s family legends where her uncle Ziff was working on an oil rig somewhere in Oklahoma. Apparently Uncle Ziff was hit by two lightening bolts in the head all in one instance!. It knocked his shoes off, burned holes into his heels, and left him with a mighty erection for 24 hours. All this made him the talk of the emergency room for months after this as they could not find a sheet large enough to cover his body and his rod at the same time. They finally had to just use a tent that one of the nurses just happened to have in the trunk of her car, so the story goes. Man! If I were to get hit by lightening I would want to have my pants blown off (especially if I going to have an erection) so I could keep my high heels for the ER. This all sort of reminds me of the movie “Stand and Deliver”. You know where that Bolivian math teacher teaches all those inner city kids and Lou Diamond Philips math and they all go on to win the mathematician contest. Actually the plot has nothing to do with Uncle Ziff. The relation would be fond more in the title of the movie.
I went down to the Cancha today, the Cochabambino open air market. I really hate it down there. I call it “Heart of Darkness”. But I went looking for a rat trap big enough to get those friggin’ gerbils in my back yard. While I was sampling some of the traps one of them slammed down on my fingers. The only thing I could think of when this happened was the fact that I was making fun of a friend yesterday for shooting herself in the hand with a hot glue gun. Damn! Poetic justice blows!
So the responses that came in were in the order that follows:
Sofa said:” Serves you right!
Uncle Ziff AKA Lightning Rod sounds like a dude.”
Rusty responded: “You know I was trying to keep your identity a secret on this one but you are way to easy to flush out yo!”
Tammy said: “You know, Rusty, it´s never a good idea to mention gerbils and having your pants down in the same blog . . .”
LeMel said: “Animals and falling clothing aside, there is something electrifying about family legend, shopping, and happiness in general all being combined in the same story.”
Gym said: “Dude!
One of my all-time favorite books. (responding to quotes sent to him form “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”) Nominee for best book about the 60s. Hilarious shit. Almost as funny as Uncle Ziff. What's his full name? Zifforelli? Ziffowitz? Ziffadeedoodah?”
Rusty responded: “Ziffapopodopolis”
Three Religiions
Facing the wall
December 13, 2007, Toils and Troubles
So I lost my car today……again. I walked out of the office this am to run some errands and I looked around to find my car and it was no where in sight. Then I retraced my steps and walked all the way back to the gym where I found it right where I left it. Apparently I left the gym this morning and walked to the office instead of getting into my car which I had driven to the gym. I swear I think my ADD is getting worse. Several other things happened to me to make my mornings more difficult.
So with this in mind came up with a couple of things not only for me to do but for you
when you have a bad day:
First you can think about redecorating as I am planning on doing at my in-laws new house. I decided to go with the big lips shaped couch that will be set right beside that hand shaped arm seat. There will be a big plug-in neon flashing poster of an 18 wheeler to go on the wall behind the couch. That bad boys gonna burn all night long baby! Then there is the antique Zenith TV converted into an aquarium that will be filled with man-eating fish. And we definetly can not forget the old thread worn 1970’s plaid love seat with the holes worn into most of the cushions. These pieces of furniture are the best as you can always find change and old stale corn chips under the cushions after long make out sessions. Or if you are like me and have been alone all week it would be long TAKE out sessions. Or is it a long make IT out sessions when you are all by your self?
Second would be for you to join me in making fun of my best friends (Chris) new blog. I have been making myself feel better by uploading “mocku-posts”. I suggest that you try it cuz it really does make you feel better. http://www.andeanairwaves.blogspot.com/
The last thing you can do to make your self feel better is to check out this new G. W. Bush gallery. It will be sure to put a smile on your face.
http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3DBoy%2BGeorge%252C%26sp%3D1%26fr2%3Dsp-top%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyfp-t-501-s%26x%3Dwrt%26js%3D1%26ni%3D21%26ei%3DUTF-8%26SpellState%3Dn-2960201050_q-6d8KrP9NtXwnUy.o7A8OXAAAAA%40%40&w=250&h=389&imgurl=www.million-bush.com%2Fartworks%2Fmillionbush_boy-george-bush.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.million-bush.com%2Fboy-george-bush&size=13.3kB&name=millionbush_boy-george-bush.jpg&p=Boy+George%2C&type=jpeg&no=4&tt=44,956&oid=c2215367ed33cc1a&ei=UTF-8
Or this Pic. http://www.flickr.com/photos/911review/293457625/
So with this in mind came up with a couple of things not only for me to do but for you
when you have a bad day:
First you can think about redecorating as I am planning on doing at my in-laws new house. I decided to go with the big lips shaped couch that will be set right beside that hand shaped arm seat. There will be a big plug-in neon flashing poster of an 18 wheeler to go on the wall behind the couch. That bad boys gonna burn all night long baby! Then there is the antique Zenith TV converted into an aquarium that will be filled with man-eating fish. And we definetly can not forget the old thread worn 1970’s plaid love seat with the holes worn into most of the cushions. These pieces of furniture are the best as you can always find change and old stale corn chips under the cushions after long make out sessions. Or if you are like me and have been alone all week it would be long TAKE out sessions. Or is it a long make IT out sessions when you are all by your self?
Second would be for you to join me in making fun of my best friends (Chris) new blog. I have been making myself feel better by uploading “mocku-posts”. I suggest that you try it cuz it really does make you feel better. http://www.andeanairwaves.blogspot.com/
The last thing you can do to make your self feel better is to check out this new G. W. Bush gallery. It will be sure to put a smile on your face.
http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3DBoy%2BGeorge%252C%26sp%3D1%26fr2%3Dsp-top%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyfp-t-501-s%26x%3Dwrt%26js%3D1%26ni%3D21%26ei%3DUTF-8%26SpellState%3Dn-2960201050_q-6d8KrP9NtXwnUy.o7A8OXAAAAA%40%40&w=250&h=389&imgurl=www.million-bush.com%2Fartworks%2Fmillionbush_boy-george-bush.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.million-bush.com%2Fboy-george-bush&size=13.3kB&name=millionbush_boy-george-bush.jpg&p=Boy+George%2C&type=jpeg&no=4&tt=44,956&oid=c2215367ed33cc1a&ei=UTF-8
Or this Pic. http://www.flickr.com/photos/911review/293457625/
# 48 26th of Nov.,2007
Well I must say the blogger world has been quite dry for me as of late. I guess one of the reasons would be that most of my friends have become quite silent as of late. For instance when I was over at Gyms for Thanksgiving Dinner conversation was quite calm. For example Gym would say “Well the gerble farm has been quite good these days, you know how tickly the little bastards they can be.” It was sort of like talking to a coal miner. Also I have been prohibited from blogging about some of the only interesting things that have been going on. Like when Tammy told me that I could not say anything about how I almost inadvertently poisoned most of the household pets over the weekend and the aftermath that followed. I can at least vouch for the fish. They were safe and sound in their little world while havoc was reeked through my domicile.
Then there was the conversation that I had with my wife. I asked her if I was a nerd. After an uncomfortable pause she said “No……your just ‘quirky’, yah that’s it….quirky. And quirky…..is good”
Later I had a conversation with my friend Gomar who told me that he was about to move back to Washington State to start a skate boarding cafe. You know where you can go have a cup of coffee and skate. I said “That ought to make millions….for insurance companies!”
Well that is all I am aloud to mention on my blog today. Come X-mas I should have much more material as I will be hanging out with my father-in-law Jack. I will come up with a pseudonym for him later.
Perhaps I should call him “Low Jack”.
FeO2
Then there was the conversation that I had with my wife. I asked her if I was a nerd. After an uncomfortable pause she said “No……your just ‘quirky’, yah that’s it….quirky. And quirky…..is good”
Later I had a conversation with my friend Gomar who told me that he was about to move back to Washington State to start a skate boarding cafe. You know where you can go have a cup of coffee and skate. I said “That ought to make millions….for insurance companies!”
Well that is all I am aloud to mention on my blog today. Come X-mas I should have much more material as I will be hanging out with my father-in-law Jack. I will come up with a pseudonym for him later.
Perhaps I should call him “Low Jack”.
FeO2
# 47 November 11, 2007, Allegations and other questionable truths
Quotable quote:
-All men can be reached by flattery, even God can. (What, after all, is prayer?)
-All men can be led to believe the lie they want to believe.
-All men can be corrupted, each in his own way.
Niccolo Machiavelli
So I just finished a book that belongs to a friend of mine who does not even know that I have the book.. I have heard through the grape vine that this friend reads this book on a yearly basis. Odd! It is a good book but I think I have only read a couple of books twice in my life. The title is “The Secret of Santa Vitoria”. It is about this little town in Italy that has been growing grapes and making wine for thousands of years. The time of the book is set in the early forties during the WWII era. The story is of how the people of the town hide half a million bottles of wine from the German army who have come to confiscate it for the Reich. It is an interesting tail of different views of truth and how these views work for the best of the community and the conservation of tradition and leadership.
I also went and saw a Bolivian National movie called “Evo Pueblo”. It is basically the life story of Bolivia’s current leftist indigenous president Evo Morales. The cinematography is good as well as the music. But the problem is that they paint him out to be such a nice, sweet, sensitive, and slightly shy guy. Funny they mention nothing about his syndicate boss type leadership which is rumored to be quite brutal. Anyway, as far as the movie goes I will have to give it the same critique that Tammy gave “Harry Potter”. It complete lacked cool car chase scenes, sexy love scenes although there was the part where they showed a drunk Evo going around womanizing a bunch of cholita women. But by my standards this really did not classify as sexy. There was absolutely no Karate or martial arts of any kind. Unless you want to consider a bunch of evil looking soldiers kicking Evo in the head a form of martial art. There were no cool battle robots any where to be seen. I guess what would have made the movie better is if at the end Evo would have pealed off a mask to reveal he was really Goerge W Bush. Now that would have been a rye twist a la “Usual Suspects” but perhaps everybody would have seen that one coming.
But it is a good movie to create the cult of personality that every socialist leader needs to endear him to the masses. A few in the list that were popular for doing these type of things would be Mao, Stalin, Castro, and even Hitler with “Mien Kompf”. So I have just come to calling the movie “Evo huevo”
Now moving on to other things I have finally decided to reveal to you the life and times of my good buddy Rev. Gym. Here we have compiled a sort of time line of his life. This is so one can understand different aspects of R.G. as he is further brought up in future blogs. So with out further ado:
The Life and Times of Rev. Gym
-circa 1962 Born. Sired by “Waldo” the webbed foot circus performer from Czechoslovakia who impregnated a local-yokel young lady in Western Australia on his third “World Victory” tour. His tour stops included some small piss-ass village in the Czech Republic; Perth, Australia; Branson, Mo; and Lodi CA. They say he met his end somewhere in Idaho from some strange ailment he picked up in Mongolia or was it the Midlands, England?
1962-1967 It is said he was raised by wild dingo’s in the Australian Out Back.
1967-1970 Enrolled in the French Foreign Legion ROTC in the City of Perth.
1978 moved to Southern California, USA for rumors of constant run-ins with the Australian food and drug administration for trying to find a cheap substitute for vegemite.
1980 Lost his virginity to a wild-eyed hobo woman in the LA river wash way after she promised him the “world and all the gold he could eat’
1981 R.G. had legal problems as he tried to claim the copy rights to the Cama Sutra based on his experiences in the LA River.
1984-88 was on a series of previously mentioned (in other bogs) television game shows in which he won considerable amount of money only to squander the money on lawyers
1990 Gym was ordained by the Church of the Holy (whatcha-ma-call-it) in Modesto California via mail to order out of the news paper where by earning his tidal Rev. His states that he wanted to do this because it was his life dream to perform a mass babtism. Who can blame him?
Currently he lives as my neighbor here in Bolivia raising South American gerbils for the purpose of games of chance. He is also very athletic. Right now he is training and tanning for is first Ultimate Cage fight for which he will be going to Las Vegas for next februrary. He promised me when he gets back from his trip he will let me go mask shopping with him you know those things that fit tight around ones skull and make your lips pooch out the mouth hole.. I am going to try and get him to go with the blue with gold tubing.
If you have noticed any glaring omissions they will be brought up in future blogs. They can also be addressed by comments from me and/or the readers.
I would also like to welcome Dave and Sally to the blog list. Apparently they have been chosen to be finalist in the Oprah Winfrey “Cool House Contest” or something. This is a house that Dave and Sally built together. We all hope that this goes really well for Dave and Sally as they deserve to win. Perhaps they can make Oprah look thinner when she comes over for dinner after they win the first prize by my simple suggestion. I suggest whatever room Oprah is going to be filmed in that Dave and Sally put up wall paper with longitudinal stripes. It will make her look really skinny good. Seriously though we all wish you the best. Record the show for us as we do not get Oprah on this edge of sanity…. I mean the planet.
FeO2
-All men can be reached by flattery, even God can. (What, after all, is prayer?)
-All men can be led to believe the lie they want to believe.
-All men can be corrupted, each in his own way.
Niccolo Machiavelli
So I just finished a book that belongs to a friend of mine who does not even know that I have the book.. I have heard through the grape vine that this friend reads this book on a yearly basis. Odd! It is a good book but I think I have only read a couple of books twice in my life. The title is “The Secret of Santa Vitoria”. It is about this little town in Italy that has been growing grapes and making wine for thousands of years. The time of the book is set in the early forties during the WWII era. The story is of how the people of the town hide half a million bottles of wine from the German army who have come to confiscate it for the Reich. It is an interesting tail of different views of truth and how these views work for the best of the community and the conservation of tradition and leadership.
I also went and saw a Bolivian National movie called “Evo Pueblo”. It is basically the life story of Bolivia’s current leftist indigenous president Evo Morales. The cinematography is good as well as the music. But the problem is that they paint him out to be such a nice, sweet, sensitive, and slightly shy guy. Funny they mention nothing about his syndicate boss type leadership which is rumored to be quite brutal. Anyway, as far as the movie goes I will have to give it the same critique that Tammy gave “Harry Potter”. It complete lacked cool car chase scenes, sexy love scenes although there was the part where they showed a drunk Evo going around womanizing a bunch of cholita women. But by my standards this really did not classify as sexy. There was absolutely no Karate or martial arts of any kind. Unless you want to consider a bunch of evil looking soldiers kicking Evo in the head a form of martial art. There were no cool battle robots any where to be seen. I guess what would have made the movie better is if at the end Evo would have pealed off a mask to reveal he was really Goerge W Bush. Now that would have been a rye twist a la “Usual Suspects” but perhaps everybody would have seen that one coming.
But it is a good movie to create the cult of personality that every socialist leader needs to endear him to the masses. A few in the list that were popular for doing these type of things would be Mao, Stalin, Castro, and even Hitler with “Mien Kompf”. So I have just come to calling the movie “Evo huevo”
Now moving on to other things I have finally decided to reveal to you the life and times of my good buddy Rev. Gym. Here we have compiled a sort of time line of his life. This is so one can understand different aspects of R.G. as he is further brought up in future blogs. So with out further ado:
The Life and Times of Rev. Gym
-circa 1962 Born. Sired by “Waldo” the webbed foot circus performer from Czechoslovakia who impregnated a local-yokel young lady in Western Australia on his third “World Victory” tour. His tour stops included some small piss-ass village in the Czech Republic; Perth, Australia; Branson, Mo; and Lodi CA. They say he met his end somewhere in Idaho from some strange ailment he picked up in Mongolia or was it the Midlands, England?
1962-1967 It is said he was raised by wild dingo’s in the Australian Out Back.
1967-1970 Enrolled in the French Foreign Legion ROTC in the City of Perth.
1978 moved to Southern California, USA for rumors of constant run-ins with the Australian food and drug administration for trying to find a cheap substitute for vegemite.
1980 Lost his virginity to a wild-eyed hobo woman in the LA river wash way after she promised him the “world and all the gold he could eat’
1981 R.G. had legal problems as he tried to claim the copy rights to the Cama Sutra based on his experiences in the LA River.
1984-88 was on a series of previously mentioned (in other bogs) television game shows in which he won considerable amount of money only to squander the money on lawyers
1990 Gym was ordained by the Church of the Holy (whatcha-ma-call-it) in Modesto California via mail to order out of the news paper where by earning his tidal Rev. His states that he wanted to do this because it was his life dream to perform a mass babtism. Who can blame him?
Currently he lives as my neighbor here in Bolivia raising South American gerbils for the purpose of games of chance. He is also very athletic. Right now he is training and tanning for is first Ultimate Cage fight for which he will be going to Las Vegas for next februrary. He promised me when he gets back from his trip he will let me go mask shopping with him you know those things that fit tight around ones skull and make your lips pooch out the mouth hole.. I am going to try and get him to go with the blue with gold tubing.
If you have noticed any glaring omissions they will be brought up in future blogs. They can also be addressed by comments from me and/or the readers.
I would also like to welcome Dave and Sally to the blog list. Apparently they have been chosen to be finalist in the Oprah Winfrey “Cool House Contest” or something. This is a house that Dave and Sally built together. We all hope that this goes really well for Dave and Sally as they deserve to win. Perhaps they can make Oprah look thinner when she comes over for dinner after they win the first prize by my simple suggestion. I suggest whatever room Oprah is going to be filmed in that Dave and Sally put up wall paper with longitudinal stripes. It will make her look really skinny good. Seriously though we all wish you the best. Record the show for us as we do not get Oprah on this edge of sanity…. I mean the planet.
FeO2
46) Oct. 28th 2007, Boink-Splotch-Boom!
The attached video is my friend, Sofa Loaf who was northern Bolivia doing a tour of the Bolivian Amazon Rain forest. When she got back her story was very interesting. She told me very excitedly: “It was amazing Rusty, we saw monkeys, alligators, I used corn cobs for toilet paper, we met up with this cool Israeli couple who took a bunch of pictures of me and put me on their web site, and I was famous, I fell off my bicycle, then we went to band camp……”. All I could think in my mind was “Whoa-whoa-whoa you did NOT tell them you were a model!” I can see it all in my head now. The scene -Sofa with her friends “I know you guys are all Israeli and the ‘Chosen’ (quotation fingers flickering around) or what ever (eyes rolling). But HELLO (slender fingers jabbing the air around her head with eye brows popping up and down ‘bink-bink-bink’ [cool Sponge Bobish sound effects]) Golden girl over here!” So as you have already inferred Sofa is a bathing suit champion. That is why I call her the “Champ”. But I have a lot of respect for the Champ. I mean how many girls like the Champ can actually say they have shat in the woods (ala Bill Bryson author of “A walk in the woods” who on a side note is a ‘Gonzo Journalist’ much like I fancy myself, cool read, btw)?
Going off on yet a different tangent, have you ever noticed that when you are about to do something like camping, people seem to like to give you random weird advice before you go. Stuff like “when you gotta…you know… go number two what you do is put your hand behind your knee just before you squat. This way when you actually go down into your squat you won’t fall back in your own pooh.” What the hell kinda advice is that!
I will admit the Champ did kick ass but also apparently got her own ass kicked as well. She took a dive off her bike to keep from flying off a cliff on the side road to Coroico. My advice here is: although jumping off the bike may be very exciting, a simple casual steering away from the cliff usually has a much less ass kicking effect. Either way this is a very scary road. It has been deemed one of the most dangerous roads in the world. The road is basically a narrow shelf cut out of the side of a thousand foot (or better) cliff. I remember as a child sitting in a truck as it went down this road and parts of the road were so narrow that when you looked out the window you could actually see half a dually spinning over pure air. It’s enough to make you vomit.
So here is a good analogy for you Sponge Bob fans if you remember the episode where the Flying Dutch Man unzips a random sipper suspended in mid air and throws Squidward into “the fly of eternity” for being insolent and then spirals into a psychodelic abyss. Well this is what almost happened to the Champ, she was almost hurled into “the fly of eternity”
In closing let me give you some of my own random camping advice. When you are alone in the jungle at night and you are slightly scared sound your Sponge Bob siren “Weeeeoooo-weeeeooo-weeeeooooo” and you will feel a lot better. It really works. ”bink-bink-bink and a wink”
FeO2
PS: Argie thanks Sofa for taking the pressure off.
Going off on yet a different tangent, have you ever noticed that when you are about to do something like camping, people seem to like to give you random weird advice before you go. Stuff like “when you gotta…you know… go number two what you do is put your hand behind your knee just before you squat. This way when you actually go down into your squat you won’t fall back in your own pooh.” What the hell kinda advice is that!
I will admit the Champ did kick ass but also apparently got her own ass kicked as well. She took a dive off her bike to keep from flying off a cliff on the side road to Coroico. My advice here is: although jumping off the bike may be very exciting, a simple casual steering away from the cliff usually has a much less ass kicking effect. Either way this is a very scary road. It has been deemed one of the most dangerous roads in the world. The road is basically a narrow shelf cut out of the side of a thousand foot (or better) cliff. I remember as a child sitting in a truck as it went down this road and parts of the road were so narrow that when you looked out the window you could actually see half a dually spinning over pure air. It’s enough to make you vomit.
So here is a good analogy for you Sponge Bob fans if you remember the episode where the Flying Dutch Man unzips a random sipper suspended in mid air and throws Squidward into “the fly of eternity” for being insolent and then spirals into a psychodelic abyss. Well this is what almost happened to the Champ, she was almost hurled into “the fly of eternity”
In closing let me give you some of my own random camping advice. When you are alone in the jungle at night and you are slightly scared sound your Sponge Bob siren “Weeeeoooo-weeeeooo-weeeeooooo” and you will feel a lot better. It really works. ”bink-bink-bink and a wink”
FeO2
PS: Argie thanks Sofa for taking the pressure off.
# 45 Oct. 31- Nov. 2, 2007, His grace is sufficient
I think that it went something like this….
First I wrote:
The time has come for me to introduce my good friend Argie to you. That is "Argie" pronounced to rhyme with Margie, short for Margaret who was the cousin of Joe French who acted side by side with Robert Duval and Kevin Bacon in a short in the early seventies. Hey, we just played the "Kevin Bacon Game"! The past time in which all events no matter how big or small always lead back to Kevin.
A'hoo, I made the mistake of inviting Argie to the house blessing we had this last Sunday at my house. Every thing was going smoothly until Father Walter asked me to help with communion. I obliged was at the cup serving the faithful as they lined up in front of me. So for once I was having a serious moment in my life when I looked up to see my friend Argie standing there in front of me. My first thought what "What the hell!" Then my second thought was now here is a man who is getting a lot of miles off of infant baptism. Then I saw that he had his usual evil glint in his eye and he said as he took the cup "Stop me if I try to make it through this line again!" So what you would have heard if you standing next to me was "This is the blood (Argie's interruption)….. [smirk-snicker]…..uhhh…fucking Argie!" It was at this point when I had just desecrated the cup and the blackness of the situation settled over me. Dude! If anybody deserves to go to hell its Argie not me. He provoked me. Besides everybody in my family is ordained accept me and the friggin' dog and now thanks to Jill and Gym I am now aware that even my dog "Ginsberg" is now eligible for ordination thank you very much! (Speaking of which I will get to work on immediately, insurance that you just cant buy!) This must me worth at least a back door pass or something into paradise.
Any way I have a quotable quote for ya all! It comes from a Woody Allen movie I tried to watch last night. I have to admit that I am not getting through movies very well these days. I always get too board or I get really tired. But I stayed awake to here the following quote: "The best thing about masturbation is the cuddling afterwards!" Put your hands together for Mr. Woody Allen everybody!
Then Dan wrote:
Okay, first: was this just so shameful on Jim's part that you had to make up a second fictional name for him, even as you refer to Gym later in the post? Funny.
Then Rusty wrote:
Is it really that obvious that this has been about Gym the whole time? I could not use Gym in the later part because it would have given everything away had I used his new alias. Anybody paying attention would have matched up the Jill and Gym reference straight to Argie!
I have a confession to make. Last night I had a dream that I wrote this same blog out on a piece of paper and handed it to Gym for a proof read. As he read the first couple of lines he got this disgusted look on his face and then handed it back to me. At this time I woke up. Even though I ussually wake up around this time I felt a little more guilty than ussual because my thoughts were with Gym. Even so I will at least continue to protect Jim's privacy by using his first alias Gym.
Be all this as it may, perhaps we should not be talking about somebody who is not in the country to defend himself. Do you think we should wait Dan?
FeO2
Then Tammy wrote:
On a pertinent side note to the matter at hand, I think things may soon be getting to the point that Dan may want/desperately need some kind of alias cover for his own protection, especially if he continues to make such direct (and low) blows (no sexual innuendo intended) at Gym - even though Gym (the Rev., that is) may be able to wield some type of ecclesial excommunication threats at Dan to get him to back down a bit . . . or, now that I think of it, at the Captian yourself, which, in your case and as your loving wife, I will do my best to counter with my ordianed authority in the Anglican realm, which may or may not be greater than that vested by Modesto . . . ).
Anywhoo, any ideas? I suggest Danm.
xxoo,
(the reverend) tammy
Then LeMel wrote:
As the only other family member not ordained - I resemble that remark!!!
Then Gray wrote:
Where’s Jim gone then?
Then Rusty wrote:
It's not Jim its Rev. Gym damn it! Are you forgetting that we are trying to protect Rev. Gyms privacy?!?! How would you like it if I called you Gray all the time in the e-mails I am talking about you instead of using your pseudo name "Offwhitie".
A'yhoo, nobody is quite sure where Gym is at the present moment. Some say he is off searching for the perfect rolled oat in the West, perhaps he has gone North to challenge his arch nemesis Gorge W. to a game of chess at the gates of hell itself a la "Faust". Yet others have insinuated that he has gone east to learn to master the secrets the legendary self inflicted ancient Chinese triple "O". But one thing is for sure where ever he is the mythical nymphs of Shang-Ping-Wa will be dancing around the leaping fires of Zanadoo!
And you can take that one to the bank!
FeO2
Then Dan wrote referring to the attached pic:
My personal pseudonym preference would be to be named by a symbol, like Prince used to do, and I'd like my symbol to be that badass Faust picture!As regards whether such an alias is necessary for my own wellbeing now, I will point out in my defense - take note, Rev. Gym - that I was present for the desecration in question, which is why I knew who Argie was, and my original email was only to El Capitan. The latter then decided to respond to everyone, even dragging my poor wife into the picture! So, now that I've turned this full on into a passage out of an Umberto Eco novel, I'll retire back into passive readership, and start watching the blog for references to. Signed,
Then Jo-shmo wrote:
I am in the middle of a conversation that I so don't understand...as interesting as it sounds, how do I catch up????Is there an archive somewhere??? Will I just have to stay lost forever??? Jo
Then Rusty writes:
I am here to enlighten all!!
FeO2
First I wrote:
The time has come for me to introduce my good friend Argie to you. That is "Argie" pronounced to rhyme with Margie, short for Margaret who was the cousin of Joe French who acted side by side with Robert Duval and Kevin Bacon in a short in the early seventies. Hey, we just played the "Kevin Bacon Game"! The past time in which all events no matter how big or small always lead back to Kevin.
A'hoo, I made the mistake of inviting Argie to the house blessing we had this last Sunday at my house. Every thing was going smoothly until Father Walter asked me to help with communion. I obliged was at the cup serving the faithful as they lined up in front of me. So for once I was having a serious moment in my life when I looked up to see my friend Argie standing there in front of me. My first thought what "What the hell!" Then my second thought was now here is a man who is getting a lot of miles off of infant baptism. Then I saw that he had his usual evil glint in his eye and he said as he took the cup "Stop me if I try to make it through this line again!" So what you would have heard if you standing next to me was "This is the blood (Argie's interruption)….. [smirk-snicker]…..uhhh…fucking Argie!" It was at this point when I had just desecrated the cup and the blackness of the situation settled over me. Dude! If anybody deserves to go to hell its Argie not me. He provoked me. Besides everybody in my family is ordained accept me and the friggin' dog and now thanks to Jill and Gym I am now aware that even my dog "Ginsberg" is now eligible for ordination thank you very much! (Speaking of which I will get to work on immediately, insurance that you just cant buy!) This must me worth at least a back door pass or something into paradise.
Any way I have a quotable quote for ya all! It comes from a Woody Allen movie I tried to watch last night. I have to admit that I am not getting through movies very well these days. I always get too board or I get really tired. But I stayed awake to here the following quote: "The best thing about masturbation is the cuddling afterwards!" Put your hands together for Mr. Woody Allen everybody!
Then Dan wrote:
Okay, first: was this just so shameful on Jim's part that you had to make up a second fictional name for him, even as you refer to Gym later in the post? Funny.
Then Rusty wrote:
Is it really that obvious that this has been about Gym the whole time? I could not use Gym in the later part because it would have given everything away had I used his new alias. Anybody paying attention would have matched up the Jill and Gym reference straight to Argie!
I have a confession to make. Last night I had a dream that I wrote this same blog out on a piece of paper and handed it to Gym for a proof read. As he read the first couple of lines he got this disgusted look on his face and then handed it back to me. At this time I woke up. Even though I ussually wake up around this time I felt a little more guilty than ussual because my thoughts were with Gym. Even so I will at least continue to protect Jim's privacy by using his first alias Gym.
Be all this as it may, perhaps we should not be talking about somebody who is not in the country to defend himself. Do you think we should wait Dan?
FeO2
Then Tammy wrote:
On a pertinent side note to the matter at hand, I think things may soon be getting to the point that Dan may want/desperately need some kind of alias cover for his own protection, especially if he continues to make such direct (and low) blows (no sexual innuendo intended) at Gym - even though Gym (the Rev., that is) may be able to wield some type of ecclesial excommunication threats at Dan to get him to back down a bit . . . or, now that I think of it, at the Captian yourself, which, in your case and as your loving wife, I will do my best to counter with my ordianed authority in the Anglican realm, which may or may not be greater than that vested by Modesto . . . ).
Anywhoo, any ideas? I suggest Danm.
xxoo,
(the reverend) tammy
Then LeMel wrote:
As the only other family member not ordained - I resemble that remark!!!
Then Gray wrote:
Where’s Jim gone then?
Then Rusty wrote:
It's not Jim its Rev. Gym damn it! Are you forgetting that we are trying to protect Rev. Gyms privacy?!?! How would you like it if I called you Gray all the time in the e-mails I am talking about you instead of using your pseudo name "Offwhitie".
A'yhoo, nobody is quite sure where Gym is at the present moment. Some say he is off searching for the perfect rolled oat in the West, perhaps he has gone North to challenge his arch nemesis Gorge W. to a game of chess at the gates of hell itself a la "Faust". Yet others have insinuated that he has gone east to learn to master the secrets the legendary self inflicted ancient Chinese triple "O". But one thing is for sure where ever he is the mythical nymphs of Shang-Ping-Wa will be dancing around the leaping fires of Zanadoo!
And you can take that one to the bank!
FeO2
Then Dan wrote referring to the attached pic:
My personal pseudonym preference would be to be named by a symbol, like Prince used to do, and I'd like my symbol to be that badass Faust picture!As regards whether such an alias is necessary for my own wellbeing now, I will point out in my defense - take note, Rev. Gym - that I was present for the desecration in question, which is why I knew who Argie was, and my original email was only to El Capitan. The latter then decided to respond to everyone, even dragging my poor wife into the picture! So, now that I've turned this full on into a passage out of an Umberto Eco novel, I'll retire back into passive readership, and start watching the blog for references to
Then Jo-shmo wrote:
I am in the middle of a conversation that I so don't understand...as interesting as it sounds, how do I catch up????Is there an archive somewhere??? Will I just have to stay lost forever??? Jo
Then Rusty writes:
I am here to enlighten all!!
FeO2
# 44 October 25, 2007
So about 4 months ago I introduced all of you to my new father-in-law Jack. He is really cool and like me he is a really big Il Divo fan. When you meet the man he will most likely tell you a really cool story about how he is descended from the first white man to be lynched in the state of Ohio. Luckily the Native Americans allowed this ancestor to live but the did unspeakable things to his powdered whig…so my father-in-law tells the story. But in the end he got his whig back and it has now been passed down from father to son for many generations now. Jack and all his forefathers have worn this savaged and ravaged whig with pride to every social event that includes a member of this distinguished line. I am told, though, that the pink deck slippers have been an invention of recent generations as they are used in the warding off of crazed bikers. (see last 4th of July blog) How this all fits into Il Divo I do not know but Jack and I have a song. This song we had often sung together when we were in the car back in Florida together. I thought I would write down the lyrics (as Jack does not know what the hell he is singing cz his Spanish is limited) and translate them for him. I also thought it would be nice for you guys to share in our festive musical joy. Please remember that I am not a professional translator.
Enjoy!
IL DIVO LYRICS"Without You (Desde El Dia Que Te Fuiste)"[SEB:]Me dijiste que te ibas
You said that my pants were on fire
y tus labios sonreian
I saw your lips moving
mas tus ojos eran trozos del dolor
but I could only concéntrate on your crazy glass eye[DAVID:]No quise hablar
I didn’t want to say anything
sólo al final te dije adiós
but finally I had to laugh
sólo adiós
offered you a peanut.[CARLOS:]Yo no sé si fue el orgullo
Yet you flew into a drunken rage!
o a que cosa lo atribuyo
I tried to contain you
te deje partir sintiendo tanto amor
and now it is just like making love out of nothing at all![URS:]Tal vez hacia falta sólo un "por favor, detente amor"
This morning I woke with this pain, so I went to the dentist.[CARLOS:]No se vivir sino es contigo
He said the pain was from a rotten root.
No se, no tengo valor
But I really know it is cz I have no values[DAVID:]No se vivir sino es contigo
I do not know if I should do something about this
no se, no se ni quien soy
or just get my friggin’ tooth drilled[SEB:]Desde el dia que te fuiste
Sometimes I wonder what you would say
tengo el alma más que triste
but I know that you have become such a tart
y mañana sé muy bien va a ser peor
and tomarrow it Hill just be worse[URS:]como olvidar ese mirar desolador, queda amor
Since I started singing this song I lost my train of thought but I think it was about my love for you or was it about dinner last night?[CARLOS:]No se vivir sino es contigo
I do not know which is which
no se, no tengo valor
and I don’t know what that last smell was but I’m blaming it on you!
no se vivir sino es contigo
I’m still diggin’ on the snaggletooth necklace you wear every day
no se, no se ni quien soy
I don’t even know who I am
no se, no tengo valor
pop your glass eyeball out again![repeat to fade]
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
Enjoy!
IL DIVO LYRICS"Without You (Desde El Dia Que Te Fuiste)"[SEB:]Me dijiste que te ibas
You said that my pants were on fire
y tus labios sonreian
I saw your lips moving
mas tus ojos eran trozos del dolor
but I could only concéntrate on your crazy glass eye[DAVID:]No quise hablar
I didn’t want to say anything
sólo al final te dije adiós
but finally I had to laugh
sólo adiós
offered you a peanut.[CARLOS:]Yo no sé si fue el orgullo
Yet you flew into a drunken rage!
o a que cosa lo atribuyo
I tried to contain you
te deje partir sintiendo tanto amor
and now it is just like making love out of nothing at all![URS:]Tal vez hacia falta sólo un "por favor, detente amor"
This morning I woke with this pain, so I went to the dentist.[CARLOS:]No se vivir sino es contigo
He said the pain was from a rotten root.
No se, no tengo valor
But I really know it is cz I have no values[DAVID:]No se vivir sino es contigo
I do not know if I should do something about this
no se, no se ni quien soy
or just get my friggin’ tooth drilled[SEB:]Desde el dia que te fuiste
Sometimes I wonder what you would say
tengo el alma más que triste
but I know that you have become such a tart
y mañana sé muy bien va a ser peor
and tomarrow it Hill just be worse[URS:]como olvidar ese mirar desolador, queda amor
Since I started singing this song I lost my train of thought but I think it was about my love for you or was it about dinner last night?[CARLOS:]No se vivir sino es contigo
I do not know which is which
no se, no tengo valor
and I don’t know what that last smell was but I’m blaming it on you!
no se vivir sino es contigo
I’m still diggin’ on the snaggletooth necklace you wear every day
no se, no se ni quien soy
I don’t even know who I am
no se, no tengo valor
pop your glass eyeball out again![repeat to fade]
Have a great weekend!
FeO2
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